Bump in the Road

Woke up early feeling great and looking forward to my 1 week check-up with my oncologist. Turns out my white blood count is really low and now I have to be very very careful of crowds and chancing infections of any kind. What does this mean to me personally? I can't visit our son in the hospital. I can't go to our granddaughter's volleyball game. I can't go grocery shopping....oh damn, oh well, I don't do that anyway! I have to wear a MASK when I do go anywhere with people......hello? That would mean like EVERYWHERE outside my house! unless maybe I were to walk the dogs. This is now changing my life style and I am a bit rung out over it. It's been a tear filled day for sure. I decided to visit my Hospice volunteer friends and one look at them and I bust into tears...within minutes I was laughing again and finding treasures that I just love.......including this brand new PINK t-shirt that says "Cancer Sucks"...ok, so it's a bit crude, but then it only speaks truth! God has a funny sense of humor cause I am telling you I was headed for the door when the clothing gal pulled this T-shirt out of the bin and we both went duhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Someone obviously didn't have the nerve to wear it...I, on the other hand, might never take it off! LOL

I am now adding 3 more prescriptions to my life.....antibiotics and a $120 two-inch tube of cream for a viral infection (aka herpes) on my bottom lip that hurts like a ...you know what, and then a mouth rinse which the pharmacy had to order. TMI, I know but it is afterall my blog and my journey and so skip forward to the happy part of my day! I got yet another gorgeous Pro-Flowers bouquet of cheery sunny sun flowers from our friends Kathleen and Wes! I am being so spoiled!!!!!! And I freely admit that I love it! I love nothing more than I love flowers. So major big hugs to you two wonderful people today! I can't take pictures yet cause they are still gasping for water. Tomorrow will be photo day! XOXOXO

THINK PINK! THINK ORANGE!

Couldn't wait to share these pictures with you. Two huge boxes from ProFlowers arrived at my doorstep while I was off having my manicure (pink polish of course) this morning. The gorgeous pink gerber daisies are from Stacy Julian of Big Picture Scrapbooking. This girl just has to have the biggest heart in the world. I love you Stacy! Thanks for making my day and adding the suspense factor in there by not signing the card! LOL This bouquet benefits the Susan G. Komen fight against breast cancer! How very cool is that?

These gorgeous orange ones are from our dear friends the Biglins, our best man, Joe, and his beautiful wife, Gerda. Joe is also Godfather to Jake. We had our boys only hours apart some 39 years ago! How time flies! My picture doesn't show the tulips and lilies in this bouquet. They are truly amazing.

I decided that poor Keith needed a little pampering tonight so I actually set the table outside by the pool for a little romantic evening and maybe even a skinny dip!

That being said, I blog-ith

I have caught up with my sleep.......well, pretty much. I have decided to learn to "nap"...a talent that has always escaped me. I am going to perfect it! Yesterday was one of those "I think I better lay low" days.......a day best spent doing something productive which makes me feel better. So, you ask, what did you do to accomplish that Ms. Dottie? I IRONED!!!!!! I was brought up to iron my clothes before wearing them........why is this such an oddity in 2007? WHY did my grandkids new school clothes look like old school clothes on the first day of school? I just don't get it! Anyway, I ironed, I napped till the guy came to trim the tree right outside my window, I had an awesome mail day.......yes more scarves! xoxoxo to Cherry and Rosemary!, I made yummy peach cobbler casting caution to the wind and eating sugar.........heard yesterday morning that sugar feeds cancer.......well, so does stress and I really would have stressed out if I had missed the last of the peaches this summer. I got a bunch of wonderful cards in the mail and a great envelope full of art images that I had ordered and just adore and a new art magazine. Did I mention I napped? yes, again! and then..........a dip in the pool with a glass of wine! An all-round perfect day..........with the exception of not getting in to see my boy in Tampa. He is still trending in a upward direction........yippee!

B.W.O.

I came across this blog today and knew it was meant for me. I am so compulsive about everything I do, including blogging that this allowed me freedom from this day forward to not blog if I don't feel like it. Thus........


Because you shouldn't have to look at your blog like it is a treadmill.

Because its okay to just say what you have to say. If that makes for a long post, fine. Short post, fine. Frequent post, fine. Infrequent post, fine.

Because its okay to not always be enthralled with the sound of your own typing.

Because sometimes less is more.

Because only blogging when you feel truly inspired keeps up the integrity of your blog.

Because they are probably not going to inscribe your stat, link and comment numbers on your tombstone.

Because for most of us blogging is just a hobby. A way to express yourself and connect with others. You should not have to apologize for lapses in posts. Just take a step back and enjoy life, not everything you do has to be "bloggable".

Because if you blog without obligation you will naturally keep your blog around longer, because it won't be a chore. Plus, just think you will be doing your part to eradicate post pollution. One post at a time. . .

Reality Sets In!

Yesterday was a really great day with my little artsy buddy, Sally. She taught me some of the techniques she uses to create journal pages and all I can say is "whow" to her work and the fact that I could just do this all day. Here is my little page. The actual journalling will be on the page next to it. I will get better as I go, but using up what we call our "stash" is really fun. It was like being back in kindergarden, slapping on paint, paper and glue......total freedom with no rules...out of the box wild women in a world of their own. Fun Fun! We took a lunch break to go to the tea room for lunch where we scarfed (no pun intented) down our yummy quiche and banana pudding and then back to "play".

I totally gave out around 3:00 and was probably asleep before Sally drove out of the driveway. I think REALITY has set in. I have alsolutely no energy. I slept 18 hours less 1/2 hour for dinner and a brief interlude with Julie Andrews in Sound of Music. Woke up this morning and I am still tired. I don't know what time I started writing this but I have already had a 3 hour nap and now I am back at it. My friend Suzanne, who starts her chemo/radiation tomorrow, pointed out that maybe, just maybe I have been over-doing it a little! Do you think? If so, I am chilling out today.....I was supposed to go into Tampa to visit Jake today but couldn't even manage that. That makes me sad and brings on the tears. Jake is, however, doing really well these days. He is feeling stronger as these abcesses and infections start to clear up, so please keep those prayers headed his way.

I know I promised to respond to all emails and well, that just doesn't look like it is going to happen any time soon. I love hearing from all of you and maybe this exhaustion will disappear as time goes on, but for now "it isn't fun and I DON'T WANT TO DO IT!" (be tired, that is)

Good Morning Bloggers!

I know, I know, I know! I missed a day or two of blogging...so shoot me! I am a busy girl. Good friends are enabling me in the retail therapy department to the point where I could open a hat and scarf shop. Friday, my dear friend Bonnie R., also a cancer survivor, took me hat shopping at the tennis pro shop and we found a couple of winners. She not only bought me one, she brought over one of hers and a gazillion cool scarves to play with. I think it might be more fun playing with all this girlie stuff with actual hair on my hair, but that option is going to run out pretty soon.

Friday I got what I am calling the bone marrow shot exactly 24 hours after my chemo. Side effects are bone aches. Let me tell you, they don't lie! It's Sunday morning and every bone in my body aches, but my little buddy, Sally, from Spring Hill is coming and we are going to create "art" today regardless.

OK, so backing up. Yesterday was a great day. I was only a little achy and a little tired but I had been promised a decadent hotsy totsy spoil me day by my friend Dee down in St. Pete. I did my favorite black and white dressing thing and hit the interstate in the rain to experience a full day of love, laughs and luxury! We had the most fabulous breakfast at the Vinoy Hotel. How do mango strawberry pancakes sound? Truly one of the those OMG moments. After sitting and digesting our over-indulgent breakfast on the front porch of the hotel, we hit the streets in search of the illusive cotton scarf again. This time we hit on a little store full of head bands and such and I walked out with 8 new ones....the poor little girl tending the store thought we were nuts and didn't have a clue what I was doing. When I told her I was going to lose my hair in the next two weeks due to breast cancer, her mouth literally dropped and I thought she was going to cry. Guess she didn't know people could still laugh and have fun. So, off we go to the next shop and wind up buying matching outfits on sale! How cool is that? Now I have a new outfit to go with my new hats. What a hoot I will be. So, by now, I am wearing out and Dee takes me to this really cool shop called Paciugo (Pah Choo Go = Bless You) to experience Gelato in flavors like strawberry balsamic vinegar....can you imagine? and it was scrumptious. After eating a cup of three differenct flavors, Dee insists on buying me a container to take home for those days when my tummy might not feel good! Is this a good friend or what? I call her insightful and wise as she has the ability to know the need and fulfill the need no matter what it is...a very special gift. Also a very special friend. Thank you Dee for a totally fabulous day!

My Keith is the best! He tells me everything I put on my head looks "cool" and he continues to cook awesome dinners...I think I will keep him around. We all know how hard it is on the caregiver.....often harder than the patient and let me tell you, he is doing a great job of hanging in! Between Jake and me, he has really been the strong one....we let him take his naps anytime he wants to! I also let him have charge of the remote control. It's the little things in life afterall!

So, it is Sunday today and I plan to play with Sally. If I create a crazy journal page of any worth, I will post it...not that you will "get it", but it will have been a fun day for me.

I woke up to some amazingly wonderful emails this morning that I am going to love on all day! It's going to be another great day! Happy Labor Day Weekend everyone!

Remember the Kindness of Strangers!

I had a really busy day that didn't get underway until 11:00 this morning so I got to enjoy my friends at Panera for a couple of hours. While I was there a striking woman walked in and she was wearing the coolest pair of sunglasses. Of course I had to find out where she got them and try them on and all that.....cause they really had that "attitude" look...and well, she couldn't remember where she got them. I was heartbroken and told her that I would just have to find them because I was starting chemo today and I was going to be wearing really funky scarves and hats and I absolutely needed "drop-dead gorgeous" sunglasses to complete the "look". This woman then took off her sunglasses and gave them to me!!!! I of course melted into tears and she wished me luck and vanished out the door. I don't even know her name! I am hoping to do some detective work and find out who she is. Can you believe that? People are so kind and I am feeling truly blessed each and every day!

So, on that happy note, I trotted off to have my brain scan and my heart pumped with a nuclear IV cocktail and get these tests done and read and on my doctors desk by my 1:00 appointment. The results arrived while I was in with the doctor and it was the best news! No cancer cells in the brain and a good strong heart! Relief!!! And then on to the chemo room and really not much to tell except to say it only lasted an hour and a half and all went well. I feel just fine tonight and plan to continue to feel good. My spiffy little port is a medical miracle and worked perfectly. Tomorrow I just have to go in and get a shot to keep my white blood cell count up and then 3 weeks from today I have my second dose. The war is on...Defeat, Destroy and Conquer! That motto came from my good friend Mike who did just that!

I am so far behind in everything but want you all to know that I will answer all of your wonderful, encouraging emails...thank you all so much. I love you all!

Today was a Good Day!

Nothing like a little twilight sleep to start the day! Whoever invented that was a genius. My "port" procedure took no time at all.......checked in at 5:45, surgery at 7:15 and home by 9:00......feeling fine.
The real fun today started when my friend, Kathleen, came over with a bag of scarves and her magic tricks with them! We played for about an hour, styling them in different ways with and without hats. I am feeling oh so much better about this hair loss thing. I think I can actually pull it off....need to still shop for those awesome sunglasses.......maybe my buddy Paula will let me borrow hers!!! What are best friends for? OK, reality check here.....that isn't going to happen. Guess I will have to head to the sunglass kiosk.
Tomorrow I have the brain scan....praying that is all clear...we already know i'm a little nuts, then the heart MUGA test.....no clue what that is and then Chemo time! The attack will be launched! Wish me luck!
Love you all!

"WIG"-ed OUT!!!!!!!

Here is what I know. My cancer is stage 3 determined by both the size and the fact that it is in the lymph nodes. The PET CT showed no cancer cells anywhere else in my body! Thank God! I still need a brain scan and a heart test. Tomorrow I will have the little surgery to put a port in my neck so I don't have to have an IV every time I have chemo. My chemo starts on Thursday afternoon!!!! I am on the road to recovery starting then! I will have chemo every 3 weeks for 8 sessions. The schedule is good because we can now go to Panama City Beach in September and I can go visit my best buddy, Paula, in Vancouver, WA in October. Art and Soul, here I come! I am majorly excited about that!

Now the bad news! I am going to lose my hair!!!!!!!!!!!! The doctor said to expect it to start falling out in 10-14 days! This is not going to be pretty. I already went to the wig store.....I hate them all.....none of them look like my hair! Next stop is the hat store! lol I cry when I think about it. BUT, hey, I will buy really cool hats and fabo sunglasses and start a trend OR, pull up my big girl panties and DEAL WITH IT!



A dear friend who is also in crisis sent me this! I want to have this kind of a Attitude.

Attitude


There once was a woman who woke up one morning,
looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today?"
So she did
and
she
had
a
wonderful
day.


The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"H-M-M," she said,
"I think I'll part my hair down the middle today?"
So she did
and
she
had
a
grand
day.



The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said,
"today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail."
So she did
and
she
had
a
fun,
fun
day.



The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

"YEA!" she exclaimed,
"I don't have to fix my hair today!"


Attitude is everything.

Be kinder than necessary,
for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Live simply,


Love generously,

Care deeply,

Speak kindly.......

Leave the rest to God

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

The same day I was sent this, another dear friend (thank you Debe!) sent me a Blessings Ring. This is the first thing I put on it and then all the beautiful, supportive, encouraging cards from my friends. Here is the picture and this is the website.

<

Flying High Today -Literally

Last weekend after hearing my news Laura decided I need a "happy day", so today, her "boyfriend", Glenn, took me to lunch in Venice, FL via the air! His plane seats 6, so Laura, Glenn, Jessica, Ryan and I got to fly down the coast to Sharkies for a great lunch on the beach. (Poor Keith was working a golf tournament and had to miss my special day!) Wish I had a picture of the taxi that took us from the little airport to the restaurant....we are talking really really gross! EEEK!, we all just wanted a bath after exiting! Luckily, my dear friend, Patty, joined us for lunch and the 6 of us fit in her nifty new Prius Hibrid back to the airport! It was really a fun day and we headed back to Clearwater escaping all the rain and storms. Glenn is a great pilot! XOXOXO to Glenn and my Laura for this special day! Oh, and Laura, paybacks..........well, you know what they say about paybacks.......and YOUR birthday is coming very soon! Exactly how many singing waiters do you want? Oh well, the key lime pie was delicious! LOL

JAKE UPDATE! Late last night, he was returned to the transplant floor which he now calls "home". How sad is that? Still no news as to when he will be listed. He now has 3 tubes draining this abscess on his liver. I still don't understand what is going on but they say he needs to be stronger and free of this poison running through his system before being listed! I don't even know what to pray for anymore but the Man upstairs knows and He is in charge! I will keep you posted.

DOTTIE UPDATE: Tomorrow is the PET CT and Tuesday is my appointment with the oncologist. I will update this blog on Tuesday night.

Love to you all!

Progress is Slow

As much as I would like to get the show on the road, my doctors are adament about formulating the absolute best plan for me. So, while we saw all the results today from the sonogram, biopsy and MRI, all we really know is that it is an Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma which is the most common type. There is more technical info but I don't know what it all means yet so I won't bore you with it. Monday I will have the PET CT and then someday next week have a meeting with my oncologist, Dr. Patel, to hopefully zero in on the treatment. The thought at this time is to do chemo first to shrink the 2.5cm tumor and target the lymph nodes, which are still in question. BUT, enough about me.

JAKE IS BACK IN ICU!!!! The fun never stops around here. Last night he spiked a 104 fever, a severe drop in blood pressure, rapid heart beat and freezing chills. And do we have any answers as to why? NO! Apparently he has been seen by many many doctors today who no doubt will be nowhere in sight by the time April gets there tonight and thus we will probably continue to live in the dark! Can you tell the frustration level going on here? I am afraid for April. She is at her wits end. Please please continue the prayers for both Jake and April as they both need to be strong and positive.

My Dear Sweet RCS Group!

I was not going to post today since I really don't know anything more than I knew before BUT, I absolutely had to post to my friends from the RCS group of "scrapbooking prayer warrior friends forever and friends since forever!" THANK YOU SO MUCH...ALL OF YOU!!!!! for the beautiful flowers!!!!!!!! Look at the bear sniffing away! So cute! So me! So typical of all of you! You are the most incredible group of women I have been privileged to be a part of! I am overwhelmed by your thoughtfulness, caring and love! XOXOXOXO to each and every one of you!

You gals especially will appreciate the fact that I have created and am keeping a journal of my journey. We all know the therapeutic value of that!

Tomorrow I meet with the doctor and no doubt have more information.....probably more than I want to know, but I will be blogging the results, so stand by.

Jake is in a holding pattern right now. If we feel like a pity party, we boo-hoo together! So, life is good!

Love you all!

Where do I start?

Jake is on a roller coaster......infection free, infections are back, infection free and holding. He is in a holding pattern and still not listed on a transplant list. We want him home to build up his strength but he can't come home with IV bags attached. He is going on 6 weeks of hospital confinement. I would be losing my mind but he stays pretty positive most of the time. We have talked him into reading the Harry Potter series to get his mind off the boredom of each day.

Ok, to make matters worse, I have been diagnosed with breast cancer. At this point I don't know too much other than it is agressive, it is in the lymph nodes and I will probably go through chemo before any surgery is performed. I need to have a PET scan first and also get more results from the biopsy they did last Thursday. We meet with our trusted friend and doctor, Peter Blumencranz on Thursday. Sorry to drop this bomb on my blog but at least this way, I can keep you all informed at once, both on Jake and on me.

YADA YADA YADA

Same story, different day! I went to visit Jake today. He was depressed and who can blame him? One doctor says one thing, the next says something else. All we know for sure is that he is indeed INFECTION FREE for the last 6 days and this SHOULD mean he will get listed, BUT...there are no guarantees....so many things factor into the process. He looks good, feels better than he has in the last couple of weeks, is able to walk the halls and is certainly ready to receive good news. He is bored to tears and ready to either come home or get transplanted. We all vote for the transplant! So, keep those good thoughts coming and prayers going up.

What to blog?

I am supposed to be in Selma, AL with Keith. I wish I were there but I just couldn't feel good about leaving Jake. Rosemary is having a golf tournament in memory of our dear friend Art who passed away a year ago tomorrow. I hope that everyone participating does so with a story to tell cause there isn't a person alive who doesn't have an Art story to share. He was the consummate story teller. He was bigger than life and we will miss him always.

I visited Jake today in the hospital. He looks good and his pain appears to have diminished to some degree. He still has infections in his blood that need to be cleared up before they will list him on the transplant list. April has gone back to work but is spending the weekend at the hospital with Jake. That girl makes things happen so maybe she will get some insider information for us by weekend's end.

It's an "UN" day......

UN-birthday and UN-LISTED!!!!!!! One of the criteria for getting on the liver transplant list is that you have no infections in your body. Well, Jake has several and needs to get rid of them like NOW! sooooooooo, that is to be the prayer! Let those antibiotics hit their target and get rid of all the infections in his body! Then, he will be allowed to go home AND get on the list! It's all very discouraging at times but he is still in good spirits and we are all positive that he WILL GET A NEW LIVER SOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks to all of the prayers going up in his name.

ok, so it's no longer my birthday but i got some awesome gifties from my friends last night.......i am not sharing them with you yet but trust me.....COOL, WAY COOL!

instead, i will share a crazy piece of art that i made from the frame of a lampshade. I know that most of you won't "get it" and that's ok! it's still what i do and this particular piece has meaning to me......whether you get it or not! the picture in the middle is of my father, aunt and grandparents, the brass stencils are the initials of same, the baby shoe says Dorothy, 6 months, on it, a doll dress belonging to a friend, lace and old flowers and ribbon and some other vintage "ephemera" (look it up)...ok so here it is......call me crazy....

It's MY BIRTHDAY!

There is no doubt that I have been spoiled and showered with pressies AND (tee hee) more celebrating to come tomorrow...lucky me! Today my VERY oldest friend in this entire world, Alison, sent me 4 gorgeous live Maine lobsters! They arrived early this morning in a cooler and were alive and kicking. It's only a matter of minutes and they will be DINNER!!!!!!! I'm sure they will be delicious and I love you, Al, for making this birthday special. For my lobster picture, I decided to also show off some of my other pressies. Paula gave me (oops, didn't put them in the picture) 4 bags of mango gummies which we are all addicted to...AND the most wonderful softest hoodie I have ever put on....Keith can't keep his hands off me! lol. I am also sporting my new "messenger bag" that Keith gave me from this website Ruby Tag Bags. Totally awesome bags. I am also holding a very special piece of art made by my little buddy, Sally. It's a soldered Christmas ornament that I will cherish forever. Love you girlfriend! SO, it's been a great 50th birthday......I just hate people that lie about their age...let's face it........we are only as old as we feel inside.



My sweet Jake was the first to call me today to wish me a Happy Birthday. He sounded good today after a less than wonderful day yesterday. He had the nurse from hell for way too long and then dear April made her disappear! "They" say you marry your mother...I'm pretty sure Jake did! April is assertive and strong and doesn't put up with any "you know what". She is a girl a mother-in-law can love!!! She sure does take care of our son. I won't go into yesterday. Keep praying that he gets listed this week. He is in a great deal of pain and needs this to happen soon.

Love you all!

Nothing New!

Patience and long suffering! Guess I am still learning these lessons. There is nothing much new to report concerning Jake. He still has a couple of infections that need to be gone before he is officially "listed" and no doubt more tests. Hopefully by next week, he will have completed the process and be deemed "healthy" enough to hit the charts! In the meantime, we wait...it's exhausting for everyone. Finally today, April returned home for the night....to visit her family and dogs and get a change of scenery! She is an angel. I hope Jake can bear to sleep without her in his room tonight! They do not function apart from one another.

I'm sitting here yawning........need to curl up in my chair with my book and hopefully fall soundly asleep.

A Quiet, Boring, Rainy, Depressing Day!

We went to see Jake this rainy afternoon. Here is the state of affairs as of today. He is still not "listed" and needs to go through a heart stress test tomorrow and then that all important part of the "process" will enable him to finally make "the" list! Where on the list will he be? That is the million dollar question....he was too sick to even go through a transplant on monday and today, thursday, he is in too good a condition to be listed as critical!!!!! egads!!!! he is still in insolation and yet they are saying that he could actually go home to wait for his transplant. do i understand how that can happen with drains still inserted and IV's still in place? no! The process for getting an organ is complicated and based on need, so he needs to be strong for the surgery but in dire need at the same time. SOOOOOOOOOOO, what do we pray for now? God's will in all things. His timing is perfect and we know He is in control. OK, so, that's the prayer and we are sticking with it BUT, whow, we sure would love to see a perfect match come real soon!!!!!

Love you all for all the support. Here is Jake's address if you want to send a card or note. No point sending it to the hospital...the place is huge and he keeps changing rooms on us. I think he is where he will be for a while but who knows.

416 Wildwood Way, Belleair, FL 33756

He is a Simpson's fan so i simpsonized him on the internet...he loved it!

No news is good news...sorta of......

Nothing to report today. Don't know that Jake has even been "officially" "LISTED" on the transplant list. He is holding his own. Keith and I are just tired tonight but, no doubt, not nearly as tired as our dear April, who continues to be by Jake's side 24/7. The girl is amazing! The doctors think she is his personal nurse and she could be with the exception of the credentials! She has "ANGEL" credentials...big halos surrounding her! I know Jake would agree. She is the best thing to ever happen to Jake and this family! We love you April!

LONG DAYS & LONGER NIGHTS

And does anyone sleep anymore? Jake says he gets lots of 5 minute naps! And then "THEY" are back to do something, take something, administer something! It is endlessly the same and then there are tests and more tests!

We visited him this morning and he looks really good considering all he has been through. We are hoping he will be "listed" tomorrow. His vital signs are all good and he is improving every minute! Could that possibly be due to all the prayers being said in his name? THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!! We are all a lot more optimistic today than we were yesterday but he is still a very sick guy. Here's one to look up cause this is the serious culprit attacking his system. It's called VRE He is in reverse isolation which means anyone, anyone at all, that enters his room must be in a gown, mask and gloves....likewise if he leaves his room for tests, the same applies. This is a nasty infection that antibiotics do not kill.

So, that is probably more information that you need to know and I will close with my thanks to all of you! We are blessed with very special friends! We love you all!

JAKES NEEDS A LIVER TRANSPLANT!!!

Well, once again we are frantic with worry. The tests the doctors ran this morning determined that the right lobe of the liver was no longer functioning and that nothing was flowing through the main artery. It is infected like the portion of the left lobe that they removed 3 weeks ago. The result is that he desperately needs a new liver and will be listed tomorrow as a critical patient. This means that he needs a liver NOW! The condition of receiving a transplant IF one comes available is that he is strong enough to withstand the surgery. We are focusing on the fact that he is young, has a strong heart and a good reason to live...his wife April! I have never, personally, seen a more perfect love...it is amazing and beautiful to witness. The prayers we need now are for strength. Thank you all for being their for us and continuing to support us at this time.

I am waiting for a call from April to see if they will allow her to sleep in his ICU room tonight. It is extremely rare that they allow this, so if anyone is reading this now, say a prayer for that to happen. He is in reverse isolation so everyone has to gown up to go in his room. If they don't allow her in his room, I am planning on going back over to the hospital to spend the night with her. This is all a repeat nightmare from 1995 when he received his first liver.

Photo Shoots in NH

Two little beauties....my great niece, Ella McRae and Kendra's daughter, Maddie. I had fun shooting pictures of both of them when they came to visit us on our vacation in NH. Both little girls are so adorable with their curly golden locks.

Tomorrow we head back to Florida. I think the kids all had a ball and are probably pretty exhausted from all the water sports and "camp" activities. There were a few quiet times during the week but most of the time was spent either on the lake with
Uncle John driving the boat or fueling up on Aunt Mary Ann's cooking!! I had a relaxing week reading and watching and being the "enforcer"! These are 4 great kids that I would gladly take anywhere anytime, knowing that they know their manners and can charm the socks off anyone they meet.

Good News,, Bad News

GOOD NEWS.....Well, NH is gorgeous! The weather couldn't be better for all the water sports. The kids are having a ball...fishing, tubing, water skiing, beaching it, etc. John and Mary Anne have gone overboard in the "camp directors" category! We stay on schedule from morning to night and get fed 3 square meals a day and lots of snacks in between. The kids are also all doing at least a half hour of reading each day! I am doing nothing but occassionally cleaning up the kitchen, reading and taking lots of pictures. Today, Kendra and her children came to visit from CT. The children were good as gold and so adorable. We had a great but very short visit.

BAD NEWS....Jake is still in the hospital and will no doubt continue to be for at least another week. The tests continue and we are still pretty much in the dark. Please put him on your prayer lists..RCS group! all you prayer warriors! Love you all and appreciate your power!

JAKE IS BACK IN THE HOSPITAL!

Well, the shit is hitting the fan again. Jake is back in the hospital with an infection and we are waiting on tests once again! I don't know what is going on and being away, I am very nervous.

Meanwhile NH is terrific! Today we went to the Science Center that my brother, John, was very instrumental in re-doing a few years ago. The pictures are from there and pictured with us all is Izzy, the Leonberger! Leo's are part St. Bernard, Great Pyrenese and Newfoundland come from Germany. Google Leonberger COACH for pictures of my brother's first Leo COACH who is probably the most famous one of the breed.

http://community.webshots.com/user/johnmcrae

FINALLY! NEW HAMPSHIRE VACATION

5:15AM came early but no one was complaining because today was the day we had all been waiting for! Jessi, Ryan, Emily, Jeffery and Gigi (me) departed Tampa for Manchester, NH to visit John (my brother) and Mary Anne at their home on Kanasaka Lake! It's camp and all things are wonderful! Fishing, Kayaking, Beaching-it, Tubing, Water Skiing, canoeing, playing with Izzy, golfing, swimming, sightseeing, gaming, cooking all those special treats and best of all for me....antiquing (see my first purchase...the letter C). Aunt Mary Anne and Uncle John have topped the popularity charts with all their preparations in anticipation of our arrival...we love you both!

GET OUT OF JAIL CARD ISSUED.....

but it certainly ain't "free"....more like "pick up huge bill, sell all your real estate and first born child and then you may pass 'go'". 3 weeks and 1 day later and we are all doing the happy dance! Jake and April will sleep in their own bed tonight and snuggle up with their puppies. It is sure to be a happy reunion! Thank you all for the many prayers, well wishes, e-mails, cards and phone calls!

I will give you all a break from my boring blog till next week when we are up in New Hampshire at my brother's house. I am taking the grandkids, jessi and ryan, and they are each bringing a friend along...should be a super fun week and we are counting the days till we leave!

Day 18 in the Life of Mango Boy!

Life is good! Jake is alive and well and in pain! The doctors seem pleased with his progress and recovery but I am sure he is "over it"! 18 days in the hospital and probably another 4 or 5 yet to come....hopefully each day will bring him closer to feeling like his old self with the ambition to do something. I am sure the days are long and boring when you can't really do anything but push the pain button. He is anxious to get back to school and catch up.

We are going to visit him on Saturday (or maybe i will sneak in tomorrow) and see for ourselves how he is. April is still by his side every minute and will not go home. She is his private nurse and no doubt doing the work of his floor nurses. They love her as she changes his sheets and bathes him and whatever else needs doing. She is our angel girl!

So keep those good thoughts coming.

Mango Boy and his BIG Blue Shoes!

WHOO HOO! WHOOPEE! YIPPEE SKIPPEE! JAKE IS OUT OF SURGERY AND IN ICU! THE SURGERY WENT REALLY WELL AND THEY WOUND UP REMOVING ABOUT 1/3 OF HIS LIVER AND HOPEFULLY ALL THE CRUD AND INFECTION ALONG WITH IT! APRIL AND I GOT TO GO UP TO ICU AND SEE HIM WHILE HE WAS WAKING UP. HE WAS IN SOME PAIN BUT LOOKED TO BE RESTING FAIRLY COMFORTABLY AND VERY MUCH AWARE OF OUR PRESENCE...MOSTLY APRIL'S! HE HAD A BREATHING TUBE IN SO HE COULDN'T TALK BUT HE COULD NOD HIS HEAD A LITTLE AND OPEN HIS BABY BLUE EYES. IT SURE TOOK ME BACK TO THE DAY OF HIS ORIGINAL LIVER TX IN MIAMI BUT I FOUGHT OFF THE EMOTIONS AND REMAINED CALM AND STRONG. HE WILL FUNCTION FINE WITH 2/3 OF A LIVER.

MANGO IS HIS NICKNAME AT THE COLLEGE HE ATTENDS AND WHEN I CALLED HIM THAT HIS EYES POPPED OPEN IN SURPRISE.....HE WAS SMILING ON THE INSIDE, I COULD TELL. I LEFT HIM A COUPLE OF MY SPECIAL MANGO GUMMIES FOR A TREAT. THE BIG BLUE SHOES....HE HE HE, THEY HAVE PUT THESE REALLY REALLY BIG BLUE BOOTIES ON HIS FEET ALONG WITH THE BLOW UP COMPRESSION SLEEVES ON HIS LEGS....IT'S QUITE A SIGHT TO SEE. WISH I COULD HAVE GOTTEN A PICTURE OF THAT BUT I WANTED TO LIVE SO I DECIDED ON THE WISE MOVE OF LEAVING INSTEAD....RELIEF IS WHAT WE ARE ALL FEELING ABOUT NOW....IT'S A GOOD FEELING FOR SURE!

JAKE WILL PROBABLY BE IN THE HOSPITAL ANOTHER WEEK AND WILL HAVE MY COMPUTER WITH HIM SO DROP HIM A LITTLE "HAPPY MAIL" AT skowie@tampabay.rr.com i know he will appreciate it....i will stop shouting now.

oh, and don't let up on those prayers......we need a swift and uneventful recovery now along with the absence of all infections!

Waiting Room Wearies

April and I are just sitting here in the waiting room...doing what we have all leaarned to do so well... WAIT! Jake has been in surgery since about 10:00AM and they just came in to tell us that he is doing fine but it will be another couple of hours until they are done. I will post again later when he is in recovery and we know more. Keep all those good thoughts and prayers coming.

Another SNAFU!!!!!!

We seem to go from one doctor visit to the next. The last one wasn't great news. The drain they inserted is not doing the job they had hoped it would......so, come Monday, they are going to go back in and insert another drain or.......and most likely....remove part of his liver. Apparently the abcess has built up a tar-like (my interpretation) substance that is not breaking down enough to pass through the drain. What is coming out is bile......yucky! So, keep those good thoughts and prayers coming. Both April and Jake are scared of course. I am calm. Transplant technology has come a long way in recent years and I am certain these doctors know what they are doing and will get him through this.

Oh my Gosh!!!!

I just spoke to Jake and it was like night and day....he sounded sooooooooo good!!! He had the "procedure" this morning where they inserted the drain into his liver/bile duct....no one is clear on this, but it is draining. I told Jake I sort of see it as a septic tank....remembering early marriage homes with septic tanks and those roter-rooter guys coming to drain them....yuk! same deal here! The "procedure" (oh, please) is surgery in my book....they put you to slelep and then insert something like a knife or needle into your body....thank you but that to me means yet another scar and thus it must be some sort of surgery. The word procedure is strictly for your mental health issues! yo duhhhhhhhh, are we stupid here?
anyway, the "procedure" went well, he feels better and sounds better. The next step is to see what the culture of the septic system crud shows and treat that. Definitely another few days in the hospital. You can tell I am feeling better about all this too. I just hope tonight is good night...with no fever!!!!!! and lots of healing sleep!

"D" is for Diagnosis!!! Finally!

Well we have just returned from visiting Jake and April on their 5th wedding anniversary. The picture is of their "gourmet" lunch which was really quite elaborate and courtesy of one of Jake's nurses, Dax. The staff at this hospital is unbelieveable! The equipment is state of the art and the doctors are all transplant specialists...many of whom Jake had 2 years ago when he had his kidney tx.

OK......you no doubt want to know what is wrong...I will try to explain this in layman's language and to the best of my understanding. The culprit and cause of all his infections, sepsis, e-coli, pain and more pain is a blockage in one of the bile ducts leading into the liver. It appeared on the MRI and looks like a large absess. Sooooooooo, that being said what they are going to do is a "procedure" where they insert a tube into the duct and drain off the fluids that are blocking the one side of his liver. This will remain in for several days and hopefully cure the situation. If however, it looks like too much damange has been done to the area, they will either insert a stent or possibly remove a portion of the liver.......and while we hope that this is not required, the liver will regenerate itself and function properly on it's own accord. We are all thrilled to finally have a diagnosis and thankful that he was moved to Tampa General.

They are hoping to celebrat their anniversary by watching the fireworks from his hospital window tonight. We brought April a little celebratory wine so hopefully they will cozy up with relief tonight and both get a good nights rest.

and the News is...........

NO NEWS! will hopefully hear results of some of the tests today during Doctor rounds. Will keep you posted!

Hugs to all you RCS gals. Thanks so much for all the emails and prayers. You are the best!

Still Waiting

Tests and test results are super SLOW on Sundays! We are waiting on MRI and Sonogram results so there is nothing new to report. He is feeling a little better and did a little walking today with the physical therapist, so that is some good news. Also his liver enzymes are coming back down and all his vitals are looking good. We are grateful for every little sign of forward progress. Now, to figure out what is causing the infection and pain.

Changing Hospitals

The news tonight is that "they" are transporting Jake to Tampa General. This is the hospital where he received his kidney transplant a year and a half ago and this is a GOOD THING! Everyone feels more comfortable with him in that environment where both his liver and kidney will be monitored more closely that they can do here. Poor dear April will be sleeping in a recliner or on a couch for a while longer as she will not leave his side. She is on top of all things.......his labs, his vitals, his meds...the girl is a wonder and should have been a nurse. We still have no idea what is causing this infection. It's a wait and watch the cultures grow kind of thing! Somewhat like watching paint dry which strangely enough is what I am doing right now in my studio....I am trying to stay busy and trying not to worry myself into a size 10! Wouldn't that be a nice side benefit from all of this? Ain't happening!

Again, thanks for all the phone calls, prayers and emails! You will never know how much they are appreciated.

BACK IN ICU!!!!!!!

Well, he is back in ICU and no doubt the best place to be if you have an infection. His vital signs are good but "they" don't know what is causing the fever and pain. They are drawing more blood, running more cultures and trying to figure it all out. April is spending the night with him tonight. We are all pretty scared and can use all the prayers that are out there!
Thanks to all of you that have been so wonderful in calling and caring every day. You know who you are and you are the best!

Roller Coaster Ride

Jake's fever is up again this morning and he is achy all over.......stay tuned. We are waiting on a string of doctors to come in. In addition to Jake, Keith is experiencing the same symptoms this morning.....fever, chills, achy. What the heck is going on?

MORE GOOD NEWS!

Jake is out of ICU!!!!!!!! Whoo Hoo! It's a happy day! Lots of "attachments" have been removed and he is up and actually walking a little bit. Also eating! He really hadn't eaten in 6 days and gained almost 30 pounds in fluids!!!!! That seems hard to believe but it is true! He was so dehydrated that they just flooded his body with fluids.......and now to rid him of them! ack! what a process! The women reading this are thinking.....this is my worst nightmare...30 pounds in 6 days! LOL but apparently the fluids help flush the bacteria and all the infections out of the body. April is never leaving town again! Good thing! She is so devoted and attentive! I couldn't ask for a better DIL (daughter-in-law). She really is an angel! Here is a cute picture of the two of them.....Jake and his Honey-Bunny!

Things are looking UP!

Everything indicates that Jake in on the mend and that his vitals and labs are all returning to normal. They had to put the dreaded "nose hose" in last night but that is now out and he isn't throwing up anymore. He is eating bird size portions of food and will hopefully be able to keep them down. Looks like he will stay in ICU a couple of more days and then go to a normal floor and get some rehabilitation and his strength back. We are headed over to visit him tonight. I succumbed to exhaustion and actually took a nap today.

Red Buttons Update #2

If I don't post when I think of it, the moment passes by and it is then weeks later. OK.....diagnosis now, in addition to the UTI, sepsis and good possibility of a kidney stone, is E-COLI! Inquiring minds will Google it but as Keith says, "lots of infomation but of little value". No clue how it got to be E-coli but thank goodness we now have something they can treat and hopefully no damage has been done to his one functioning kidney.
Stay tuned for more news as it is released.

Red Buttons Under the Red Bird Foot

What???? I just left our son, Jake, in the ICU of Morton Plant Hospital. I watched him doze off for about 5 seconds and then look up. I asked if he felt refreshed after his nap and his response was "red buttons under the red bird foot"! We need a dream interpreter. Since I collect red buttons, I thought it was a fun title for my long overdue blog.



SOOOOOOOO...........This kid always keeps us living on the edge. While April, his wife, was away on vacation in TN, Jake proceeded to ignore some serious flu-type symptoms and wound up in the ER on Sunday night. I will spare you all the details but needless to say, as a double transplant patient, the docs were not taking any chances and admitted him to the ICU. Lots of tests later and more to come, the conclusion at this point is a UTI and sepsis!! And while everyone agrees he could have died if he had waited much longer, he is now hopefully on the mend and headed in the right direction. April flew home last night and is now in charge of keeping the ICU floor nurses clicking their heels.



Having said all of that, Jake spiked another high fever last night and has had more tests this morning. Blood tests to grow cultures take time so it is looking like he will remain in the ICU for several days.



Prior to all this excitement on Sunday night, I had spent the day with my artist friends at what we call the Church of Altered Art-ists. We learned how to solder and each of us made a couple of glass slide necklace charms. This is really fun and we are all looking forward to Soldering 102. Here is a little peak at what we made.




I will make an attempt to update this blog a little more often; seems like twice a month is my average.

IT'S RAINING!!!!!!!!

This is the view from my front door which was as far as I was going to venture out this morning. We are in desperate need of rain...it's been 6-8 weeks and everything is parched. Do you know how wonderful rain sounds? It's beautiful! Remember how we used to love to play bare-footed in the puddles? That is what I would have done today except I would have looked like a crazy old lady! So, instead I headed to Panera and hooked up with the rest of the crazies that ventured out. Spent the rest of the day doing all those other mundane things one does on a rainy day. I hope tomorrow brings more rain and more naps!

As the stomach churns

Oh maybe I should share my Mother's Day gift with you before the continuing saga of my day to day aches and pains. Figuring I needed to build up my strenth, I asked for a beach cruiser bike for Mother's Day. I sold my 21 speed at my friends garage sale and here I am on my new wheels, complete with a real wicker basket.

No gears and pedal breaks...why is this not as easy as it was when I was 10? Because the late breaking health diagnosis is iron deficient anemia....the reason for me feeling like a limp rag 90% of the time. So, while this is no fun, at least the doctors put me on mega iron and also B-12 and hopefully by the end of the month my blood will show some improvement.

So....skip forward a week and we are supposed to be going to Selma, AL for the men's invitational. I am dragging around and thinking how am I going to do this? Finally I get packed and we leave, headed to Tallahassee for the night. We had a quick steak dinner and head back to watch American Idol. It's still early and I am feeling really lousy. Well, without being too graphic, let me tell you the waste basket became my bed buddy and I never saw American Idol. I had a stomach virus like none I had ever had. Morning came and again I thought I would die and we still had about 5 hours of driving to reach Selma. I wound up spread out on the back seat of the car with my stolen trash can by my side. To make matters worse Melinda Doolittle was booted off Idol! I think the integrity of this show has been lost this year.

So, we arrive in Selma at Rosemary's house and I am starting to feel a little better. Keith goes off to hit golf balls and I go up to take a little nap. While lying there unable to sleep I think I should start unpacking....the hanging bag is a snap but where the heck is my suitcase? We must have left it in the trunk of the car so Rosemary and I head out to the golf course to check. IT'S NOT THERE!!!!! Can you guess where it is? AT HOME!!!!!!! Did I kill Keith? Well, I wanted to but I was in Selma and my sharp shooter was in Belleair. Eternal thanks to Gary for racing to the house, finding my suitcase and then running to Fed Ex to overnight it to me....saving the day and the life of my dear husband. Plus, I repeat....I was in Selma and one must remain a lady at all costs. At least it made for good dinner conversation that night at the Club. I wish I hadn't eaten as it was another rather rough night. Each day has been better and today I think I really will live. Another evening at the club tonight, auction tomorrow, golf tournament finishes up and we head to Panama City Beach for a couple of days in paradise!

Only because it's been a long time

Weeks have passed, lots of shots in my back, no real improvement....though on occasion I think maybe, just maybe it is better. Alas, to add to the fun, I dislocated a couple of ribs while diving into a display case at my local thrift store....looking for that very special treasure that could have been hiding there...I lost interest after that but the memory is very clear as I am still very sore from that! This will hopefully all end soon since the doctors have picked up on my anemia and are now runing me through more tests. Gosh, the fun never stops!

Last weekend a group of my artsy friends met here to socialize and make a couple of cards. We call ourselves the Church of Altered Art (I hope I don't burn in hell). We celebrated Sally's birthday and thus I can now post pictures of my gift to her. I am working on some of these to put on e-bay or Etsy.

So, that's it for now. Guilt made me post.

Oh, some happy news is that I have now lost a total of 6 pounds at Weight Watchers....Whoopee!!!! another 10 would be great but that is probably not going to happen this month as we are headed to Selma, AL in a couple of weeks....and then on to the beach house in Panama City. I can't wait!

Recommended House Gifts

Our good friends, the Yennies, have come for a short visit and here is a sampling of the treasures they brought us. Now tell me.....don't you wish you had friends that actually "GET IT"????? I love all this stuff and can't wait for the Yennies to return in October...we always have a fun time with them and they definitely win the neatest house guests in the world. You would never know they were here. Here is a picture of the guest room .... it looks exactly the same..every detail is perfect! Thanks Linda!

Today marked a week at Weight Watchers and I lost 2.6 pounds. Not a bad start considering I had to weight in after eating this for breakfast.

Happy Easter!

We had a lovely afternoon with Laura and the grandchildren. I thought I might post a few pictures taken today. Jessi and Ryan are growing up so fast.

My Inspiration Picture

I am going to carry this picture with me as inspiration to stick with my WW program! Tomorrow is the big day....day 1. I am gong to hate getting on that scale! Wish me luck!

Spring is Here!

Once again I am falling behind in my blogging......mostly because there really hasn't been anything of interest to write about since all our houseguests left. This is what they left me to finish! 1500 pieces! Now I could pretend that this is the finished product but I cannot tell a lie.....we have worked diligently everyday and still have a long way to go.....hopefully this weekend we will finish it. Of course I have no one to blame but myself....I bought the stupid thing! What was I thinking?

Oh, I do have some good news to report. It has been ONE YEAR since I have stopped smoking!!!!!!!!! WHOO HOO! I am proud, Keith is proud, everyone is proud of me but I am FAT! I think I have put on about 10-15 pounds.....I can't face the scales and nothing in my closet fits! Got to do something about this. Probaby have to head back to Weight Watchers after Easter! I have not eaten enough hot cross buns yet and after Sunday the stores will not have them......then I can start the diet! You don't want to know how many I have actually eaten...and I wonder why my clothes don't fit??? duh!!!!!

More good news! My back is definitely on the mend. I am no longer taking pain pills and that is a good indicator. I have one more shot next week and then therapy. I am counting on getting back on the golf course soon! I felt like my old, make that young, self this week and well, of course I overdid it...paying the price today but it sure did feel good to feel good!

Well that's about it. I have been finishing up a few projects in my studio. Made a cool birthday present for a friend but can't post pictures of it yet.....she is actually one of the few that reads this blog.....yes, Sally, your pressie is done...hehehe, don't you wonder what it is? My other art can been seen and purchased on ETSY. It's my little store and a venue for artists to sell their work....similar to ebay but strictly for art.

Sunday is Easter and we will be together with Laura and the grandchildren, eating dinner at the Club and hopefully going for a swim in the pool if it is warm enough. Hope Spring is in the air for all of you and that you all enjoy a beautiful Easter day with family and loved ones.

Good Friends, Good Times!

We had the most wonderful time with our Alabama friends this past weekend. Keith and "Big Dave" aka "Catfish" played in the Men's Member Guest at the club over the weekend and are not exactly bragging about their performance. I'm sure it didn't seem quite right for either of them this year as both were thinking about the loss of their dear friend Art. On a happy note, Art's wife Rosemary came along with Dave and Franny and we did all the usual fun shopping that we always do........hitting those favorite stores and coming home with lots of bargains! Steinmarts, Home Goods, T. J. Max and our favorite Target! We need more time next year so we can hit the high end stores too! 432 and Pamela M's. I also bought a 1500 piece jigsaw puzzle to keep them busy and all they did was complain that it was too big and too hard...they even left it to me to finish. And finish it I will...I can't seem to walk by it without putting in a few pieces.

Friday night was the best as we entertained a select group of 12 around the pool...very casual and very yummy! Keith cooked beef tenders on the grill and we had double stuffed potatoes and Art's salad, along with homemade bleu cheese sauce and garlic bread. Dessert consisted of a choice of Key Lime Pie or Strawberry Shortcake! (both homemade) None of this could have been accomplished without my Selma girls pitching in! Whow! They are the absolute best when it comes to kitchen help!

The tables were dressed in vintage tableclothes and vintage dish towels for napkins, each tied with ribbon and a silk flower. The centerpieces were red, yellow and blue cut flowers and were so pretty. Now, I am on a kick to collect more vintage linens!

Life is now back to normal.......for a little while anyway. Another fun weekend on the horizon with more high school friends! Stay tuned!

Oh and don't forget to visit my ETSY store http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5085887 ......I actually sold a piece of my art this week and I am so excited! Come visit and let me know your thoughts.