Change of venue

There has been a change of venue - Dottie's Celebration of Life will be held at the home.

Saturday, March 29th
2:00 pm

1108 Palmview Ave
Belleair, FL 33756

This morning at 9:20 AM Dottie passed away. Please pray for strength - and don't be sad, Dottie wouldn't want that. In fact at 5pm grab a glass of wine (preferrably pinot grigio, with a glass of ice) and toast to her!

A Celebration of Life is planned for Saturday, March 29th at 2:00 PM. It will be held at the Belleair Country Club. In lieu of flowers, the family would like donations made to Susan G Komen for the Cure or Morton Plant Mease Foundation.

Any updates or information will be posted to this blog as it arises. The family thanks you for all the support you have given Dottie and to them during this difficult time.

No F-U-N

Hello to everyone - we want to thank everyone that has posted well wishes on Dottie's blog. Since her last post a great deal has happened and she has been on a rollercoaster ride - we will try to update you with as much information as possible.

She is in the hospital in CCU at Morton Mease Hospital in Clearwater. She is fighting pneumonia and taking baby steps towards improvement. While it has been touch and go over the last 48 hours Dottie is finally responding to the antibiotics. She had to be intubated, so she can't talk - but can communicate by nodding her head.

The family is asking that there be no visitors at this time. If you would like to visit the family please call them and they will meet you in the lobby of the hospital. Right now the most important thing that Dottie needs is rest.

Well, this damn well isn't fun!

Well, it's turns out that the big lump above the area of surgery is one very larger tumor that just popped up after the surgery. It is a throw-off of the one lymph node that was too dangerous to remove. I noticed this lump and of course mentioned it to everyone but the doctors didn't take notice once again! When they finally got the tests all back, they start scrambling and moving up all my treatments. I have already started radiation and will start chemo next week for the liver and lung. Yes, it has metastasised, so it is categorized as stage 4 breast cancer. I am still in pain in the breast area...my head and heart are reeling from the words inoperable and incurable. I have no energy right now to do anything....upating this blog will be a major accomplishment for me today.

My dear friends have been wonderful! Visitors, flowers, phone calls, home cooked meals, laundry done, and so much love. I hope I get around to thanking each one of you soon but right now, please forgive me for not answering emails or writing. I am in a bit of a shock.

Wish I could end this on a happy note, but that isn't happening so I will share a piece of advice I have learned so far on this journey. No matter how learned your doctors might be, cause we all go to only the best, if they toot their horn and love the sound of their voice more than the sound of yours, turn around and walk out the door. One does not have to sacrifice compassion and understanding for all those certificates on the wall. Search out a doctor that you can relate to, one who will listen and has a person in his office you can get hold of when you need to....not 9 choicesof buttons to push!

Jake's Home....I'M IN THE HOSPITAL!!!

Where is Dr. House when you need him? April sprung Jake from Tampa General and I wound up in the ER at our local hospital, Morton Plant Mease! The pain was out of control, the onset of lymphedemia and one very swollen area above my collar bone has everyone wondering what is going on….including me. I have had chest x-rays, ultra-sound and CT scans, blood work and cultures all coming back negative. I now have a PICC Line inserted to administer all the pain medication through…..this resulted from numerous hematomas and here is the icing on the cake: a "nurse" inserted a needle into surrounding tissue and not the vein!!! This resulted in all my meds being dumped into my arm tissue and the arm swollen to twice its size! And right now it is killing me so I will this much now and post again later.

PLEASE......

PRAY FOR JAKE. HE IS BACK IN THE HOSPITAL....80/40 BP and sepsis in his blood! All this from a simple operation that they screwed up.

NO FUN THESE DAYS!!

I don't know where to start so I will just give you the cliff notes. Apparently, I do not have an infection(3 doctors later). I have fluid build-up in the surgery site which is causing major pain. I had the drain tube removed as it stopped draining and had two areas aspirated yesterday....all this to remove the pressure. Has it helped or reduced the pain? NO! Has lortab or morphine helped? NO! I am so "over this"! In addition, my skin is so dry, it feels like I have the shingles...
I am sitting here trying to think of some good news...it's not coming to mind so I will close...grousing all the way.

The Thrill of it ALL!

We had a wonderful time with our friends, Doug and Linda, but you would have thought they were the host and hostess. They brought and cooked dinner, complete with this beautiful strawberry shortcake and I never had to lift a finger. Unfortunately, I really wasn't capable of doing anything much as I have now developed an infection in my drain site....hurts like crazy and makes sleep almost impossible since it is so sore to the touch. We did manage to go to the RHS mini reunion party but we had to leave early....again a wonderful dinner by our hosts and yet another fabulous dessert.
So, today is a day of rest, as it should be. I am waiting on the antibiotics to kick in and while doing so, I think I will go eat the left over desserts!

Doing the Happy Dance!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! The Doctor called this morning. The pathology report had come back and the margins are clean!!! No more surgery! He took 14 lymph nodes of which 5 showed cancer....these are all now gone and we are good to go on to radiation once I am healed. I still have the drain in and I am still a hurting puppy, but each day it gets a little better. The tumor turned out to be 3.5 centimeters...just like I told them...it was growing/bleeding/changing...it was bigger is all I knew and it looks like I was right! So, while there is a degree of satisfaction in that, I am now putting an end to that chapter and ready to once again move forward with treatment and the growing of HAIR!

The hair prayer is that it comes back straight, fast and salt and pepper! I do not want red and I definitely do not want curls!!!!

So, with that I will again wish you all a happy Valentines Day. We have friends from High School showing up any minute and a mini reunion party tomorrow night, so we will have a busy and fun weekend ahead.

XOXOXOXO

I'm Awake!

Well, I just bored myself back to sleep this morning.....and this afternoon again. Love that post-surgical slow motion movie I am living in. Hope I can catch you up a little bit before I feel that urge again. I will skip all the screw-ups I have suffered because it just causes me undue stress and melt-downs...and yes, I DO have meltdowns! Just as an aside, I am now called "honey" and "sweetie" by my surgeons office nurse because I told her nobody in their whole office "cared"!!! LOL

Our house phone is once again out of order.....thank you Bright House!!! This too causes serious frustration! This has meant that none of you have been able to call me and have had to resort to my cell phone. It also meant the home health care nurse could not call me! Well, much to my surprise and delight, she turned out to be both smart and efficient and showed up anyway!!! Smart and efficient!!! Imagine that....both qualities existing in one person! AND a soothing, caring personality!!! I was astounded as I know you must be too. Anyway, she got me back on track and did all her nursy things and then removed my dressings! I was amazed by how good it looked...two incisions that are about an inch to two inches long, a little bruising, a little swelling and a drainage tube. I don't know what I expected but I was pleasantly surprised. This is probably why my doctor (with the inefficient staff) is world reknowned. He is good!

I was expecting to be able to shower today but that isn't going to happen...that's ok...it's the rest of you that have to deal with it. LOL

Pain...nothing unbearable...oxicodone is a wonderful thing...is it 5:30 yet? now, instead of wine, I want my drugs.....only kidding, I would prefer my wine and the pain level isn't bad at all.

Pathology is, of course, in a holding pattern for 7-10 days.

I cannot thank you all enough for all your prayers, cards, gifts, flowers and well wishes. Remember my oldest friend, Alison, who sent me the lobsters for my birthday and came to visit? Well this is a picture of the flowers she sent me with a card saying, "This is the only kind of Violet we want to see again". How clever is that and how beautiful. Thank you dear playpen friend!

Happy to be Home!

Well, "Violet/Big Bertha" is now history. I'm sorry I didn't blog sooner but I did wind up spending the night in the hospital simply for observation and pain control. I was happy for the pain control but the sleep deprivation is awful! Thus I came home and slept for 12 hours straight. I am ready to go back to bed as I am falling asleep in front of the computer screen........more later.....zzzzzzzzzzzz

Two Hour Delay!

ACK! I want to scream. The hospital just called and said the surgery is scheduled for 1:30 and I don't have to come in till 12:15!!! Geez, thanks alot! Another screw-up by incompetent staff! They had me scheduled for a PET scan, which of course I had already had on Monday! There have been so many screw-ups that you are going to love this.......Laura came over to wait with Keith and she brought with her one of those tags that you find on all pillows and mattresses and furniture that say "Do not remove under penalty of law" and I now have it taped to my left boob!!!! The doctor is going to crack up! She also brought me the sweetest little soft jammie top...pink with white hearts on it. xoxoxo

So, what's another couple of hours......I have my knitting and a good book! See you all later!

T.G.I.F.

Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!
1.) Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2.) Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3.) Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4.) When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to________ today.'

5.) Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6.) Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did last year.

7.) Always pray and make time to exercise.

8.) Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of Six.

9.) Dream more while you are awake.

10.) Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.

11.) Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12.) Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13.) Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14.) Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15.) Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class ... but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16.) Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17.) Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18.) Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19.) Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20.) Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21.) You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22.) Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

23.) Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24.) Ladies - Go on and burn those 'special' scented candles, use the 600 thread count sheets, the good china and wear our fancy lingerie now. Stop waiting for a special occasion. Everyday is special.

25.) No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26.) Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

27.) Forgive everyone for everything.

28.) What other people think of you is none of your business.

29.) Time heals almost everything. Give time, time!

30.) However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31.) Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch with them.

32.) Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

33.) Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. God provides remember?!

34.) The best is yet to come. (in Heaven)
35.) No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

36.) Do the right thing!

37.) Call your family often.

38.) Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: 'I am thankful for __________.' Today I accomplished _________.

39.) Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

40.) Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH. LIFE'S A GIFT ... UNWRAP IT! Have a Blessed day. Please share with friends!
T.G.I.F. - TODAY GOD IS FIRST

The Sun will come out Tomorrow...la-de-da-da-da-da-etc.

Here's the latest...I am to be at the hospital at 10AM. The way I figure it, the doctor will have had his caffeine of choice and at least 2 or 3 practice rounds under his belt before he gets to me around noon. Of course by noon, he could be running late and then I get to wait and worry a little longer but I know all of you out there are pulling for me and I just want you to know that I love each and every one of you. I have gotten so many phone calls tonight and cards today and I am overwhelmed. This is routine (from my lips to God's ears) day surgery, so I should be home late tomorrow afternoon and hopefully send a quick blog message tomorrow night! Sleep tight everyone...don't let the bedbugs bite!

Heading Home

Well our week in paradise is over! We are sitting in the Admirals Club in Miami (YUK!) Airport watching the Super Bowl. We had a great flight from Barbados with seats that virtually turned into beds....very cool. Too bad the food was terrible and no chocolate chip cookies, the only redeeming feature of flying. Anyway, we had a wonderful week. Keith played golf almost everyday and I played 18 holes two days in a row. The rest of the time I spent by the pool. We had some lovely dinners out but the best are always those prepared by Maurine and Euseen. The "girls" are simply wonderful and spoil us rotten.

The Marshalls are such good friends and hosts. We love our time together and also the time we all spend doing our own thing. It's nice having friends you can spend quiet time with and no one feels the need to entertain.

So next week looms big and scary. I am seeing the oncologist tomorrow morning and I am "supposed" to be having a PET scan too...I just haven't heard that it is confirmed. Somebody has screwed up and left me hanging.

A Perfect Day in Paradise

A perfect day in Barbados is sleeping late, the "girls" serving breakfast, golf at Royal Westmoreland and both a "celebrity sighting" (Can anyone recognize this famous golfer?), a monkey sighting, a swim and an elegant dinner!
This week is just what the doctor ordered!

A Rum Punch Welcome

This is the standard welcome when we arrive at Windrush...wonderful rum punch served by Maurine and Euseen! It's been a long day for sure but we arrived safely along with all our luggage...always a relief. A relaxing time by the pool this afternoon and we are now getting ready for the first of many wonderful dinners prepared by the "girls". This will be the routine for the next week, along with a few rounds of golf. Life is good!

Finally some good news!

This will be a quick post but at least it is good news. I had an MRI yesterday and my radiologist friend, Barbara, was on the ball and following my case. She called to tell me........the tumor is not growing....it is in fact bleeding! This could be caused by the chemo doing it's job and breaking down the tumor. While this is not common, it is actually good news for me as they do not think the size has increased. The area around the tumor is swollen with fluids and that is why it hurts. We had a long meeting with my surgeon today and he explained everything to me. I will having a lumpectomy on the 6th and also the removal of the lymph glands...agressive treatment for an agressive tumor......(bad Violet)!!! Anyway, I am scheduled now for another PET scan on the 4th to hopefully find that the chemo has worked it's magic. I also have some suspicious spots on both my liver and lungs...too small to biopsy...so please pray that they have disappeared totally! That would be the best news in the world!

So, please keep in touch with me. I will have my computer with me in Barbados. We fly out early tomorrow morning and will be basking in the sun by 3:30pm. Whoopee!!!

Screw Cancer (oops, pardon me!)

WE ARE GOING TO BARBADOS!!!!! Our dear friends, the Marshalls, whose beautiful home, Windrush, we visit, said to us......"why don't you just come now!???" Well, why not indeed? We have 3 weeks to kill, so why not work on our tans, blow this joint and head out? Keith immediately got on the phone and no sooner said than done, we had our tickets changed and we are out of here this weekend! YIPPEE SKIPPEE! I know I will have tests to schedule for pre-op, but guess what? They can darn well schedule them on my schedule! We are going to Barbados!!!!!!! Life is good!

Shrinking Violet turns into Big Bertha!!!!

Well, I am still reeling from the news of the day. But let me back up a little bit. I have been saying for a couple of weeks now that I think the tumor is getting bigger. I told the Physicians Asst. who said it was just getting denser. I told the chemo nurse who promised to give the doctor a note...that didn't get done because of what the PA wrote in my file. After calling my GP and being told to call the oncologist and insist on a call back, there was magically an appointment for me this morning. The fact that I mentioned in my message that I was upset and considering getting another opinion probably got their attention. So, this morning I go in for my meeting with Dr. and I tell him the same thing. I really feel the tumor is enlarged. He does his exam and recommends I get another ultrasound today. I asked him if he felt like it had grown and he said "no"! So, I am now thinking maybe I am crazy and he is just ordering this test to placate me. Well! I am sad to say that I was right. This stupid tumor is bigger than when they first discovered it!

Now, the radiologist gets on the phone with the oncologist and he gets on the phone with the surgeon and I haven't even left the building when they call me to say we need to reschedule surgery! Are you still with me? So, the bottom line is I am not crazy and we are not going to Barbados!!! I now want this creepy thing out of me and the soonest I can have it done is February 6th! I am really bummed about the trip but I feel I just can't ignore Bertha if she is making a move. The doctors have no answers as to why. This is not unusual they say...the tumor becomes resistant to the chemo, blah, blah, blah. Just my luck!

Well, here's my take on this bump in the road. Listen to your body and become your own advocate for health care! Pull all the strings you can and insist on getting your questions answered. I wish I had been wrong but I just knew something wasn't right. I was just a little out of sync and didn't want to talk to anyone or blog anything cause I just had a feeling that something was wrong. In this case, I hate to say it but "I told you so, Doc".

I am OK with this. My surgeon said waiting a few weeks would not change anything and to not go into a panic mode. So, I am therefore going to just enjoy the next few weeks and celebrate the fact that chemo for me is OVER!!!

2008 SO FAR........

We had the best time over New Years celebrating with our dear friends from Selma. Six couples stayed at the beach house with Rosemary. The guys all played golf, the girls shopped, read and hung out. New Year's Eve was spent at our favorite restaurant "Thirty A". Could we all possibly be as old as we look in this picture? Where have the years gone?


While we were at the beach, I got a call from my airplane friend, Delene! Remember the gal I met coming home from Portland...she had never had a mammogram...well, of course by now, she has had that experience but she called to say that she would be in Tampa on business and could we get together for lunch! Of course I said. Here we are doing lunch at The Capital Grill, toasting to our friendship and a great 2008!


The Marshalls (our Barbados hosts) arrived the same day for a quick visit. We have never had a bad time with Don and Cherry...we do everything to excess and pay the price the next day! We shop (she bought 4 pairs of shoes!!), we cook, we drink and we play golf! Yes, I played golf...the first time in almost 2 years. I only made it through 13 holes but I was pleasantly surprised with how I hit the ball. I have to build up my strength so I can play next month in Barbados. Anyway, we had a wonderful, though too short, visit and will see them in paradise in 4 weeks.

Well, that's the cliff notes for the first week of 2008. I have been feeling good with the occasional day of complete exhaustion...I think I just "might" overdo it once in a while...LOL...like trying to take down Christmas all in one day....whoops, that didn't happen...still working on it. Today is my 7th chemo treatment. That means only one more! Time flies when you're having fun.

Big News

Well, it finally happened!!!!! Jake got listed for his liver transplant! We are all excited and scared at the same time. He is pretty high up on the list so the call can come in at any time. It's always a little scarey to go under the knife so all prayers are welcome....for the perfect match, for the strength to endure a difficult surgery and for the surgeons who will be crucial to the success of this transplant.

The other news is that I had a sonogram this week and Violet has indeed shrunk! She has gone from 3.1 to 2.8 to 1.6cm!!!!!!! The doctors never seem to get as excited as I do, but I am thrilled. Two more chemo treatments and I will be ready for surgery....after that trip to Barbados and a few other social engagements! whoopee! We have lots to be thankful for this holiday season and are looking forward to a healthy happy 2008!

Right now, we are in Panama City Beach....having invited ourselves to the New Years party at the Gleasons beach house! You know you are "family" when you can do that! We haven't crashed a party in years and while it takes a little "nerve" to do so, Rosemary makes us feel like we were in on it from the beginning. The house will be full of good friends, good cheer and good wishes.......all the things we wish for all of you! Happy New Year dear friends! It's going to be a great year!

I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT!

VIOLET HAS SHRUNK!!!!!!!! Today was my appointment with the doctor after a rather nasty 3 weeks of being allergic to the chemo drug, taxatere. We discussed all the side effects I was experiencing and still had evidence of and then he said he would do a physical exam. Yippee Skippee! That is what I wanted him to do. As my last post stated, I thought the tumor had shrunk. Well the doctor stood over me and kept frowing.....then he asked me to sit up.......more frowning. THEN, he got a phone call and left the room. When he came back he looked at me and said, "I am having trouble feeling the tumor!!!!!!" Yes, I said, I know, me too! I just knew it had shrunk! He said what started at 2.3 centimeters was now less than 1 centimeter!!!!!! I am estatic (I love it when I am right!) and doing the happy dance. All the suffering of the last chemo was worth it! Now I am on a new drug, Taxol which has other side effects which I am hoping not to experience. I can put up with the aches and pains and tingling and numbness....I just want my mouth issues to go away! Heck, if I have to, I can deal with that too....just means I will lose a few more pounds. The only thing so far with the chemo is that it takes 4 hours!!!!! That's twice as long as before but apparently it is a mega-dose. (scary) So, 6 treatments down, 2 to go and then a month off before surgery. Guess where we are going in February? Barbados!!! to visit our friends the Marshalls! I need to get back to swinging a golf club before then!

So, with that good news, I wish all of you an equally exciting, fullfilling Christmas! I thank God, my doctors and all of you known and unknown prayer warriors (Santa too) for your continued support and faithfullness! I love you all!

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Christmas Twins

No post......just a picture of the two of us after almost 42 years!

Santa's Elves arrive in Belleair!

Well, true to form, my friends are the best! My dear little Sally from Spring Hill showed up on Saturday and wrapped her little heart out for me! My Christmas workshop is still a disaster but whow, did we ever make progress! On Wednesday, my sweet friend, Dee, is coming over to help with the baking! I was kidding in my last post and then the offers started coming it.....from near and far! I am shaking my head in wonder that I am so blessed. Everyone is crazy-busy at this time of year and to take a whole day to help a friend means more than I can ever say.

Well, it's been a week! My face is getting better but I now itch like crazy. As it turns out, I am allergic to the new chemo!!! So much for sailing through this segment of treatment. My next treatment is the 18th and they will change the "cocktail" then...hopefully it will be a mild mixture that will not knock me out for Christmas. On a happy note and this is not confirmed by any doctor but I "think" the tumor is shrinking! That would certainly be the best Christmas present I could get and be worth the side effects of last week!

Camp was FUN, I was NOT!

Bad timing on the part of my last chemo treatment. All the promises of this drug being a "cake walk" were lies! I was sick the whole weekend with bone aches and horrible mouth issues.....my energy level was zapped and I missed out on lots of the activities...bed time was 7:30 for me and i slept! What a major disappointment. I did, however, rally at times and got to meet a lot of wonderful people. I had an awesome roommate who thought to bring me back a "s'more" from the campfire and to check up on me during my down times. Thanks Gayle! The activities were all fun...some soul-searching, some inspirational and many heart rendering...lots of hugs and tears were shared and promises of continued friendships. It really was a treat for everyone that attended. The food was amazing (though I didn't eat much and lost another 3 pounds)and the staff was there to meet every little need. The facility was beautiful and was set right on the Manatee River where we were able to go canoeing. This is a picture of the little chapel on the grouds....exactly what you would picture it to be.
Keith came down to pick me up on Sunday and after taking the tour, meeting all my new friends and eating lunch, we headed home. I promptly collapsed and have been in and out of the doctors all week. The side effects from this last round have really been whoppers. In addition to all the known problems that re-ocurred, this time I've added a rash to my face, neck and hand that burns like heck and itches in the process. Yesterday I looked like I had been out in the sun and just fried my face. This morning, I look like a scaly lizard as the cortizone cream dried it up in the night and now I think my face is going to crumble off in pieces. This is all so lovely. I had to have two more infusions this week as a result of dehydration ... a situation that just occurs when you can't eat or drink enough because your mouth and throat hurt so bad. ack!!! I hate this! BUT, at least today I think I am headed in the right direction. I don't have time for all this down-time! Every day I fall farther and farther behind in the Christmas process. Any personal shoppers out there??? Any bakers? Any wrappers? Send help!
SO, not the best report this week but hopefully things are looking better.

Off to CAMP!

The long awaited camp weekend is here. I am packed and ready to go have F U N! My girlfriend, Suzanne, also a cancer patient, is going too and she is a hoot so we are bound to have a ball. It sounds so funny to say we are going to "camp" for the weekend. The stupid chemo I had on Tuesday has decided to cause me a little problem in spite of the promises. My throat is sore and my mouth and tongue are on fire...similar to my first chemo treatment....this part is so not fun. Oh well, I am going on my little weekend anyway and determined to make the best of it. I will take pictures and report back to you all on Sunday night.

I FAILED to put on an ounce!

We ate and we ate and we ate. Thanksgiving at Laura's house was fabulous and so good to all be together and in good health. I was given a reprieve from chemo this week, so i was feeling great. We left for disney soon after dinner and felt totally sated. We had dinner Friday night at our favorite restaurant, Victoria and Alberts, at the Grand Floridian.

Walnut Oil Seared Duck wiwth Hearts of Palm, Huckleberry Vinaigrette and Fourme D"Ambert Fondue

Pan Roasted foie Gras with Fuji Apples and Mostarda de Cremona

Roasted Butternut Squash and Pumpkin Cream Soup

Kurobuta Pork Tenderloin and Belly with Banana Squash Ragout

Cranberry Gelato

Grand Marnier Souffle

Saturday night we ate at Citrico's (sister reaturant) where once again I had seared fois gras and roasted butternut squash soup with a banana chocolate souffle to top it off.





To make our weekend perfect and memorable, I got to visit with long-time friends (Kathleen Woodruff and Darlene Bartlett) that I hadn't seen in years. We did lots of catching up and promises of future visits. Here are a couple of pictures. I have given up on scarves, hats, buffs, wigs (never worn) and done something I never though I could or would do.......I go BALD! and I LOVE IT! I have met more people this way and received more hugs from "sisters", heard encouraging stories and compliments on how brave I am. I tell them for me it is sign of courage and strength and it makes me stand tall. It does take guts and people do double takes but that's ok....what they don't know is that I open the car windows and can actually feel the wind blowing through my hair and it makes me smile and sing! LOL Life is Great!

I had chemo yesterday...I now have only 3 more. Violet (the tumor) had not shrunk according to the latest PET scan which was rather disappointing but the drug they are giving me now is famous for getting the job done so I am counting on that and your prayers! The side effects are mostly just fatigue but I have a busy schedule this week and then I leave for Camp Living Springs...a camp weekend for cancer patients. So wish me luck that I don't crash and burn this weekend. For now I feel great!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Christmas season has officially begun...it's Thanksgiving Day, the Macy's Day Parade is underway and we are headed over to Laura's house to over-indulge. I was granted a reprieve from chemo this week so I am feeling great and ready to enjoy every bite of food I consume today. I have been ordered to put on 5 pounds...that should be easy after today! I have never been told to put on weight and I am fighting it but being the Girl Scout that I am, I will follow orders and just force myself to eat. I can now drink wine again so it should come back quickly! LOL

Keith and I are headed over to Disney for the weekend. He has a golf tournament to officiate and I plan to visit with dear friends, visit our new IKEA store and make my Christmas cards....a totally indulgent weekend!

So, it is our hope that each of you has a wonderful day today. We all have much to be thankful for this year and I know I feel blessed by each and every one of you!

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!

My Lucky Day!!! Whoo Hooo!!!

Belleair CC held their annual breast cancer golf tournament today, the Rally for the Cure, in rememberance of my dear friend, Lyn. I volunteered to help out since I haven't been playing golf and I also attended the luncheon. There were tons of auction items donated and we got to put our tickets in the pails in front of the items we hoped to win. There were 4 really big prizes, the best of which was dinner for 8 in your own home prepared by the chef of Rathbun's Restaurant in Atlanta. The chef flies in from Atlanta and prepares hor d'oerves and a five course meal plus wine for 6 of our nearest and dearest friends and us! YES! I WON!!!! I am still not believing this but what a perfect way to celebrate the end of chemo early next year!!! Now that is what I call a F U N Day!

I am starting to feel much much better though I still have some stomach issues. All in all, I can't complain....ok, so I can and I did but I'm thinking this must be about over and I am definitely ready to move on and get cranking on Christmas. Talk about being "over it"!!!??, I'M OVER IT! PET scan tomorrow, 4 more chemos, surgery and radiation......bring it on....I have a guest list to prepare!

Another Day

ANOTHER INFUSION! and lots of promises that the second series of chemo will be alot easier! I seem to be whining alot these days but I am hanging in there......looking forward to Thanksgiving and being off all these meds, a big turkey dinner and a glass of wine! LOL

Hope everyone is enjoying beautiful weather like we are here in Florida! I know the snows have started to fly for some of you.....would love to see it but don't want to shovel it! I won't be visiting any time soon!

Bottomed Out - No Pun Intended!

Well, yesterday was a day! I had to get my bloodwork checked and a shot for the anemia and I more or less crashed and burned. The nurses didn't like what I was telling them about my week, nor the fact that I "looked dry" (whatever that means) and they promptly checked with the nurse practicioner who then insisted on seeing me. They said since I never complain, they knew something must be wrong......I guess the emotional tears contributed too...not to mention having lost 9 pounds since last friday! Three hours later I left, pumped and plumped up with fluids, steroids, antibiotics and a prescription. They think I have an intestinal infection. I have no immune system as the white blood count is almost down to zero and my red blood counts stink too. No one mentioned the dreaded "mask" thing, so I am just going to bump up that B-12 and protein diet.

By 5:30 I was feeling great and Laura and the grandkids came over to help with the tree.....it is starting to look good but there are still hundreds of ornaments to be hung. I actually ate a piece of pizza for dinner.....probably not the smartest thing in the world but it did taste good....back to chicken soup and toast today. Not sure about the tummy today......still gurgling in there.

So many of you continue to ask about Jake. He is still home and doing well...no infections that we know of. He goes next week for a consult with the liver doctor and a check-up, so hopefully we will know more then. For now, he is thriving on love from his darling wife, April and his "girls", Millie, Maggie and Lois.

Thank you all for continued prayers and support! xoxoxo

I am a Total Slug

OK, day 5 after my last chemo and i am still sick. 2 of these days have been spent in my PJ's, my wonderful new jammies from my dear thoughtful friend, Debe! XOXO the timing couldn't have been better. most of you know that i wake up, my feet hit the floor, i grab a diet pepsi, check my mail, jump in the shower, dress and never stop all day. i ALWAYS get dressed! i have been slammed from this treatment and have done nothing but sit in my chair and read...between trips to the bathroom....can't eat...can't drink DP or wine...my stomach is just torn up....this is NOT FUN! all i want to do is sleep and wake up feeling better.

to make matters worse, my head started itching and all i had left was black stubble on my head...nasty ugly yucky stubble, sooooooo, Keith took the straight edge razor to my head...i cried the whole time. this is not a good look! no more baldie pictures of me!

Chemo is not for Sissies!

i know i have been lax in blogging this week....the only excuse is laziness and the fact that i am TIRED! the chemo is building up in my system and causing me to lack energy and need more down time......very frustraing to say the least. i seem to accomplish just the basics and meet all my appointments and then it's back to my little nest to read or nap. BUT, here is the good news! I amd HALFWAY through my chemo as of yesterday! i must say it has gone fast and i am hoping the same for the second session of treatments. this second series is supposed to be a little easier on the system....so that is more good news, especially with the holidays looming large. i must confess that i have started, very s l o w l y to put up the christmas decorations. i love Christmas and i want to enjoy all my treasures...many of which are gifts from you all. i guess i won't be able to open the verticals on the bay window after the tree goes up...people will think i am nuts. (no comments)

I will try to post more often. Pictures will be scarce as i am almost a total skin head.....eyebrows and eyelashes are thinning and i am not liking this at all! i am looking like a chemo patient......boo hoo!

The Drama Queen is Home!

Diagnosis: costochondritis......once again! ack! the good news today was that my nuclear stress test was perfect...the CT Scan showed no clots....the bad news is that I got no sleep...the wacko started yelling even more at night......threatening to call the police...they had to remove her from the floor (hopefully from the 3rd floor window!), then the Code alerts starting going off, the fire alarms mal-functioned and continued to go off periodically, the nurse came in to surprise with a shot in my stomach (thank you NOT!) and the blood hound came for blood and forgot to remove the tournaquet.....oh that was a fun find this morning! I think she will be getting written up! so......I am happily once again at home enjoying a glass of pinot grigio and ready to curl up and sleep.

Sunday...
Here are the promised pictures. The first if obviously of my childhood friends, Kathie and Alison, sitting with my newly planted pots of annuals. Second is Julie, our massage therapist who walks every year and third are my friends, Janie and her daughter, Tweed, all walking in the 3-day Walk for the Cure. These girls are still walking as I am writing this...thank you dear friends...you are an inspiration! The last pictures are the long awaited "sheet folding" pictures.....LOL....do yours look like the last one???

My Buddies Come to Visit and Much Much More!

Wow, I don't know how to blog this past week.....I don't want to bore you with too many details and will try to include some humor in the midst but the chemo is apparently raging war on me...I am tired alot of the time but seem to pop back after a little power nap so I am thinking this is a really good thing...thus I try to carry on and do, do, do......strangely enough though, the day ends and I have very little to show for it....perhaps the concentration level is short, everything seems to take just a little longer and I am moving a little slower....people say I look good.....I think I feel good, but once again......my blood levels are bottomed out and I am majorly anemic...this has me bummmed out and stressed out and sitting here typing my blog from my hospital bed!! Now, do NOT get excited. I have what the doctors think is angina but that I know to be an attack brought on by stress. Bottom line is a CT scan, a heart moniter and a nuclear stress test tomorrow and then hopefully I can go home tomorrow afternoon. If only they would double up my zoloft, I think I would be fine...or maybe something as simple as sleep!!! Why is it that the minute you doze off during the day, the mail comes flying through the mail slot and crashes to the floor? or the UPS man hits the doorbell and runs like hell back to his truck? or the Republican Party calls and really wants MY opinion? (oh, and do I give it to them!!!!) I am hoping for a really good sleep tonight only there is a crazy woman down the hall that is screaming "get your hands off me, don't touch me, don't touch me!" They have tied her up, tried sedation and everything short of gagging her and she continues to wail...so, wish me luck!

And where did I leave off on my last post.....with the much anticipated upcoming visit of my friends, Alison and Kathie. And yes, they did come and yes we had a wonderful time together....very low-key and no doubt boring moments for them but for me, it was a total luxury to have them here. I did nothing while they mothered me and waited on me. Alison is my gardening friend and she planted all my planters with annuals along with a crop dusting of wildflowers in the back flower beds. Kathie is my skinny friend with a metabolism to covet...she can eat anything and not gain weight, so she got the job of cleaning out the refrigerator...I had to make her do it twice as she only ate the food the first time...then I made her clean the refrigerator itself...I think she found even more goodies the second time around. Then, we had the sheet folding lesson...I know, you think I am crazy but I am going to post pictures as proof of what a king size fitted bottom sheet should and should not look like folded on your linen closet shelf! Kathie is the only person I know that can make this happen and I was determined to learn the trick. Bet you all wish you were there to witness this...LOL

Back to this morning....I had woken up last night to this chest pain and radiating back pain and knowing that I had a early morning doctor's appointment, I decided that I would wait till then and not rush off to the ER. Well, you say chest pain and everyone goes ballistic, so Dr. S. says I have to go to the ER to be admitted and he called ahead to tell them I was coming in....so they wait and they wait and they wait....meanwhile, Kathie, Alison and I, sporting our breast cancer awareness t-shirts and caps, stand on the sidelines cheering on the amazing women walking in the 3-day 60 mile Walk for the Cure! For me, it was a very emotional experience to see all these wonderful women doing something so amazing for a cause they all believed in and have been touched by.....I could only stand there and cry. I cry every time I think about them. We stood there for about an hour and then I checked into the hospital ER where everyone still stood waiting! oops and oh dear....sometimes healing comes in different forms and for me, today, it was being on the sidelines. My love and thanks to each and every one of you women that walked this weekend to find a cure! So, Kathie and Alison spent the rest of the day entertaining me in the hospital prior to Alison's flight home to Maine...my support team is amazing.

I am posting this tonight and will post pictures tomorrow...I think they must have gagged the "screamer" as it is suddenly very quiet.

Oh, and remember my newest best friend, Daleen, from the airplane? she has her mammogram next Thursday! yeah!!!!!

Shrinking VIOLET!

Well, you all know that I am not a shrinking violet!! Violet is the name I have given to my tumor.....and she IS shrinking!!! I went to the doctor on Thursday after having a PET scan on Wednesday and the news was good. The chemo is working and both the size and density of the tumor has decreased along with the density of the involvement in the lymph nodes! So, we are doing the happy dance around here. I proceeded to have my third round of chemo and am feeling fine so far....the fatigue usually sets in on the second or third day so this weekend will probably be spent resting up......cause next week my two childhood buddies, Kathy from Venice, FL and Alison from Maine, come to visit for a few days. I can't wait!

Jake is still at home and managing pretty well....still very fatigued and thin but he sure looks good...especially to his Mama!

Farewell Portland, Hello Home!

What a beautiful sight as I flew out of Portland! Paula and I had a wonderful time together, as always! We laughed and cried and knitted and purled and created F-U-N memories along the way...lots of quiet time just enjoying each other's company...as only best friends can do...who could ask for more? I had a fabulous week and miss my little buddy already!



The flight home was fine....American Airline's does make good chocolate chip cookies!!!! I slipped on board with 3 carry-ons and didn't get caught.....being too cheap to pay the extra $80 for the third bag, I just played "dumb bald lady" and charged forward like I was the female Forest Gump. Finally touched down in Tampa and my honey was waiting for me...always a sight for sore eyes. We made a quick detour to the hospital to visit Jake...he just spent a couple of days in Morton Plant for dehydration and is home again tonight!, and then on to home.......and my beautiful flowers! My DH is the best! I had flowers, a t-shirt and a wonderful book waiting for me when I walked in the door! I think he missed me!

I will post a few more pictures......the bracelet we made in Keely Barham's class, my extravagant purchases from Sally Jean and all the loot I picked up along the way!

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Home Tomorrow

Where has the week gone? Paula and I have had a wonderful week together. The Art and Soul Retreat was great and the two classes we took were both fun...next time we will know what other classes to sign up for, having met the artists and seen their work. So much to learn and so much talent at this show. The vendor night was really fun as we both bought a couple of pieces of original artwork. As a result of purchases that night, some major shopping and gifts from Paula, my mailman will be delivering packages to my doorstep for the next week. I also "had" to buy a vintage suitcase and filled that with antiques and some IKEA items....the shopping here is wonderful. I even did some Christmas shopping!

I have felt good all week and am sad to see our time together end, but tomorrow I head home and resume the chemo life. More pictures to come next week.

My Flight to Portland, OR

I can't believe this! I had this post almost finished when it flew into cyber space. ack!!! What happened to the automatic save feature? GRRRRRRRRR....
Anyway, as I was saying.....damn, I hate repeating myself....oh well...flying to the west coast makes for a really long day but I was lucky enough to have the bulkhead seat in first class. As I was about to sit down and get comfy, my seatmate coughs.....I freeze and ask if she is sick....no, she says she is over her cold and I hesitantly sit and tell her not to breath for the next 4 hours...why did I leave my masks on the counter at home??? a few minutes later, my friend offers me some "airborne" which I am happy to take...anything to avoid getting sick. We start talking and sharing stories and I found out she has never had a mammogram at the age of 43! BAD! BAD! BAD! Those of you that know me, know I jumped all over her and of course shared my story....along with tear and laughs. The result of this is my newest best friend has promised me that she will make her appointment this month and I am charged with seeing that she does it. I have her permission to ride her case in the meantime. I hopefully allayed her fears of a painful experience and assured her that this was something she needed to do each and every year. Here is the best part. As we are talking, Daleen tells me that she saw me in the waiting area and wondered if I was a movie star!!!!!! I laughed and told her about "the look" thing and shared my story of the sunglasses. I tried to talk her out of her beautiful Coach scarf but she didn't fall for it! I at least got to try on the scarf and decided at that point to take off my scarf and go with the baldie look...very freeing coming out of the closet like that! LOL Daleen then says she is going to watch a movie on her little I-Pod...guess what movie? Breakfast at Tiffanys....she says it is her favorite and I had to laugh and tell her that Audrey Hepburn is my role model for "the look".

To make this day even better I had a woman stop me and tell me I looked beautiful and another group of women sharing magazine articles and stories with me....again THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS! I am rattling on but it was a happy day and Daleen and I plan to keep in touch and meet up some day in Tampa when she flies in on business.

So now I am in Portland with my bestest little buddy Paula. We always pick up right where we left off...our mission and criteria for everything is F-U-N!!! (thus the name of my blog) We had our first class yesterday at Art and Soul and loved it. We started a quilt project that is really a memory quilt made with vintage ephemera and family pictures. I will share photos when I get home. Today we are taking a bracelet class with again lots of vintage ephemera on it.

More later.........

Headed to the Great NORTHWEST

to visit my buddy Paula and attend the Art & Soul Retreat in Portland, OR!!! I can't wait to touch down, see my dearest friend and do what we do......make art! We have a really full week planned.....well, at least for me, it will be full. Wednesday morning, Paula will go to Yoga class and I will get a wonderful massage! This girl (Paula, that is) knows how to plan! We will have already registered, done the meet and greet etc. prior to our little health soiree......who knows what we'll do the rest of the day. i will be jet-lagged but pumped, so who knows. Thursday is our first class and it's all day long...the same on Friday.....Saturday is shopping day and night, Sunday is crash and burn, Monday is more of the same....shop, crash, burn, shop, crash, burn.......since i can't seem to taste anything eating is not on the schedule! one would think that if you couldn't taste anything, that you would stop eating......but not me! i keep thinking that the very next bite is going to taste exactly like i think it should.....soooooo, i just keep nibbling away and hoping and nibbing and nibbling and hoping and well, pretty soon, i am going to realize that i have gained 10 pounds.......duhhhhhhhhh!! wine on the other hand does have a lovely flavorful taste. go figure!
so, i shall only eat wine from now on......LOL.....

on that note i shall close.....BUT, i must post one, ok, maybe two pictures of my beautiful grand-daughter at homecoming last Saturday.....she is 14! heck, i was 50 when she was born and i stood at the one hour photo-developing counter waiting for the pictures of her birth!!!!! where the heck have 14 years gone? AND who is this boy that brings my baby a long stemmed rose???

hmmmmmmmm, and to think this is just the beginning!

well, i am packed and ready to head out. i will have my computer with me so feel free to write to me.

Lots of Miles Later.....

We are home safe and sound! Keith did an awesome job of driving. For some strange reason, he doesn't like me helping him drive from the passenger seat! All I seem to contribute are sucking- in-my-breath noises while putting my imaginery brake pedal through the floorboard and grasping the panic bar on the door......Otherwise, I am a fine passenger. My friend Norma has threatened to put me out on the side of the road...imagine that! And while driving a long distance with my buddy Sharon, I almost turned Catholic....I have left little plastic rosaries in hiding places in her car......we will NOT go into that story now. As I was saying.......we are home. We did have a fun trip, though I was definitely not up to my norm. I was tired a lot of the time and my mouth is still sore......go figure. I did a lot of sleeping but we still managed to do everything we really wanted to do. The beach was wonderful in spite of our team not making a great showing in the ABG 2nd Annual Golf Invitational. Our drive to Ashville was uneventful and we did get an estimated completion date on the Pierce Arrow of next April. The trip to Saluda and Random Arts was totally wonderful and everything I expected....and yes, I dropped a few dollars.....as expected! I did no antiquing .....Keith was elated!. So, we are home a day early and I plan to rest up for my trip to Portland on Tuesday

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Jake IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!

The happiest of news!!!! April brought Jake home from the hospital today....finally! He is still waiting to be listed for a transplant! I do not understand so much of this and you really don't want to know all the details, so enough to know that we are all doing the happy dance today along with his girls, Lois, Millie and Maggie, his golden retriever and two dachies! They apparently went nuts when the saw him! The change of scenery will do him good and he will surely get stronger at home...his body still needs to prepare itself for a new liver. So please keep him in your prayers....they are what have gotten him this far.

Keith and I are in Panama City Beach and loving every minute of it. Keith played golf today and I took 3 naps! Today is the third day after chemo and it's the wipe-out day. My mouth is giving me fits again, (mind you, the wine is soothing), every bone in my body hurts along with my skin and I am sooooooo tired. So, now I have a good idea what to expect after each treatment and will schedule accordingly. It's just nice to be with Rosemary here in Paradise with nothing to do except rest and listen to the waves crash to shore.

2nd Chemo = 1/4 of the way done!

Yesterday was my second chemo treatment and it was smooth sailing. I have nice rosy cheeks and no side effects...all good things! I am doing the scarf and hat thing and loving it. I think I have bought 10 new ones in the last two days....some are keepers, others are going back......but I think I know what to look for now. I'm up to scarf tying 102!

We are off to Panama City Beach tomorrow morning to visit our dear friend Rosemary and for Keith to play in the Art Gleason Pro-Member-Guest Tournament. It will be sweet memories of our dear friend Art as it is still hard to believe he is not with us.

From the Panhandle, we head to North Carolina to check on Keith's 1939 Pierce Arrow car that has been being restored for the last 10 (at least) years! We need to kick some you know what and get this car done! NOT a happy subject in our household! It's for sale, if anyone is interested! I will be taking pictures for sure. We are staying in a cute B&B for a couple of nights and my reward will be a visit to Saluda, NC and a store called Random Arts......I will have to send Keith to the coffee shop with the NYTimes crossword puzzle cause I plan on seeing and touching everything in the store.....not to mention buying half of it! And he promised not to rush me! whoo hoo!

So, if you don't hear from me for a few days, do not be concerned! I will be napping to the sound of the waves and doing absolutely nothing but relaxing.

Love you all!

Another Day.....No news

I promised myself that I would BWO.....Blog Without Obligation...but Y'ALL are making that impossible, so, to those of you (yes Johnny, you are one of them!) that check in daily, God Bless You all, but I am so very fine! I will post again on Thursday after my next chemo and doctor consult. Tomorrow, if you must know, I am having my manicure and pedicure and yada, yada, yada kind of day!

oh, I did attend a women's cancer support group last night and loved it! Whow! to all the awesome women I met......all so inspiring and supportive and all survivors...just like me! and another whow to how fortunate I am to live where I do and have this kind of support available! I am even going to Camp! but I won't report on that till November.......just a teaser!

love you all!

The Look

Tomorrow my girlfriend comes to teach me some variations of scarf tying, but for today this is the only look I have. This was taken this morning with our daughter, Laura, and my two precious grandchildren, Jessica 14 and Ryan 12.

For my "Worry Wart" Friends!

Bulletin: If I don't post to my blog for a day or two, do not worry! I am busy trying to learn how to tie scarves so I can get "that LOOK"...you know the one.....that Audrey Hepburn look in Breaskfast at Tiffanys...oh, ok, so a girl can dream. Seriously, though, I am doing just fine. My white blood count came soring back up so no more mask wearing and I am full of energy this week. My only complaint is that I can't seem to finish any task I start......very frustrating...thus I have projects everywhere along with paperwork and emails.

I continue to experience the kindness of strangers almost every day. Yesterday "Manny" (a good Jewish boy from Staten Island/Brooklyn) the Bright House (phone company) customer service man gave me a credit on my overage minutes when I explained about Jake. He was so sympathetic that I told him about my BC and he told me his wife was battling it too and then he gave me his home phone number!!!!!!! Amazing! Everyone has a story. I could never relate all the wonderful things that have happened to me just this past week. I am blessed beyond measure!

Please continue to pray for Jake! He has that terrible VRE infection again. It is sooooooo frustrating to get slammed again just when we had hopes of bringing him home.

Hair There and Everywhere!

Whow! once it starts, it goes with a vengeance! hair that is.....the brush, the pillowcase, the sink, your shoulders.......forget it! make it stop! I couldn't stand for even one day! so.......Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow......Yesterday I got a really neat and loving care package and in it was a little Lion.....for courage and believe you me, it took courage to do this....and a couple of glasses of wine! Our daughter and grand kids (+ one I consider a grand) came over to witness, photograph (thanks Jessica) and help with the process..(thanks Laura for the fine-tuning), but Dad did the dastardly deed.......whacking off my hair with abandon.....and guess what? i didn't shed a tear! i actually love the feeling! so, here is the before, during and after pictures......in whatever order cause i am too tired to mess around with them! ...it's actually quite fun and my scalp feels so much better! So, i share with you the process.......the before and the after, the here and now and from this day forward i vow to either go "a la naturale", scarved, wigged out or any combination thereof ....along with a hat, glasses and ATTITUDE!!!!!!!!

Happy Tears start the Day today!

Yesterday was the Race for the Cure in NYC and my friend, Linda and a group of her co-workers formed a team and walked for ME!!! Can you imagine that? I don't even know these gals. I just had to share the pictures with you. In the team picture, Linda is on the very right. And then look at that precious, adorable baby...so sweet. I hope she never hears the word breast cancer in her lifetime. AND, check out the biker girls. I know this was a set-up and I am hysterical over it! I am hoping to walk in one of our local events with my two oldest friends, Alison and Kathie in October. And so, thus started my day......tears!

Here's the good news, I went to a "Look Good, Feel Better" seminar put on by the American Cancer Society. I got myself all made up and looking good and promptly got handed about $200 worth of facial products and was told to cleanse my face! The girl then proceeded to teach us all the tricks of the trade when it comes to make-up, wigs, scarf-tying etc. and we got to make ourselves up all over again! It was truly amazing to see the transformation of the baldest girl in the room...make-up and wigs and she was truly beautiful! THEN..... I talked to a gal that had buzzed her head just yesterday and this is what she told me. She said her husband had wanted her to do it on Saturday but she was feeling like it wasn't her timing so she let it go....she woke up Sunday morning and set up a chair in her backyard and told her husband "ok", do it.........and, are you ready? "let the birds make a nest from my hair" she said.......oh my gosh, more tears......more tears just writing about it. I think I will do the same thing....to me that was just very very cool. And oh my gosh, this gal was the prettiest bald headed girl I have ever seen. So, as I cry, we all cry.....so much for the newly applied make-up! It was not water-proof! The day continued to be fun....lunch with my dear friend Dee, a little retail therapy at Steinmart where I found two cool Russian type fur hats for my trip to Portland and an return home to find even more kindnesses in the mail! xoxoxox to my dear "Reese" (my children's first babysitter!) and also to the best periodontist and staff in the world, Dr. K's Team! I love you! and Kath, the scarf is perfection! You are the best!

And then, the bottom falls out of my world when I discover that Jake is back ICU! Hopefully this will be a short stay as he hates the nurses in ICU. He has determined that since they deal mostly with patients that are virtually comatose, they have NO bedside manner and no sympathy for pain! He had, what they call a "procedure" today verses surgery which he had two days ago....one is under anesthesia and one is just that lovely twilight sleep thing. I won't go into the details...suffice to say he is doing better tonight and he actually called me. Keith went up to see him and assures me he will be ok. We need to get this boy infection free and home! Then he can be listed for that transplant!

Maniacal Mood Swing Monster!!!

That was me YESTERDAY...it was a "get out of my way or I am going to kill you day" cause I WAS IN PAIN and couldn't get my prescriptions filled cause the drug was discontinued and then it was the pharmacy run-a-round routine in which the manager is still probably quaking at the thought of Mrs. CLARK coming in the store any time soon. (He did however, pay for my prescription when it was finally ready). So, no more on that subject. The card I received today says on the inside "just remember, you're tougher"! and I AM!!!! I just hope Keith is too cause he received the first onslaught of my monster mash!

Happily, the day got better as they most often do, when one of my oldest and "bestest" buddies came for a visit and lunch. Kathie and I have known each other since 2nd grade when she moved into the house next to mine. I have many friends from my childhood in Ridgewood, NJ, but none quite as special as Kathie and my soon to visit OLDEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD PLAYPEN BUDDY, Alison! what a time we will have next month when all three of us are together! Anyway, Kathie snapped me out of my black mood and got me laughing again. kiss, kiss, girlfriend! I love you!

AND YET ANOTHER.......Kindess of Strangers report: OK, you all know by now that I actually enjoy ironing.......what I think I enjoy most is when it is done and well, when it isn't done, I am not happy....OCD??? maybe.....anyway, I was looking through the classified section of our little town rag a couple of days ago and noted an add for ...of all things....IRONING!!!!!!!! I virtually never read the classified ads much less the paper itself, but hey...I did and I decided to call this gal...get this...her name is Barby, married to Ken with a last name of Darby...so she is Barby Darby..you gotta love that! Well, we chatted for at least 15 minutes..when she asked me "what do you have?" meaning in the way of ironing, I answered "breast cancer"! and then broke out laughing...anyway, we discovered we both loved ironing...blah, blah, blah. I promised to call the next morning.......are you still with me here? my blog, remember? I can ramble if I want to......so, I called her and told her I was having a really bad day and she immediately said she would come and pick up my ironing! That, of course, made me cry...people are always making me cry because of being so kind...you all really need to knock it off!......so Barby Darby comes and in tow with her is her friend and little 8month old blue-eyed blonde baby boy! oh my, what a joy to hold and love on this little cutie patootie. I had to get the camera out and take pictures...he was so adorable and well....there you are.......I was a happy girl/GIGI/Grandma the rest of the day....and the nap? yup, that helped too! So, thanks Kath and thanks Barby for turning my day around.

Today........good day spent with my Panera family of coffee buddies and a very special new friend. I love you Lsc!!! Keep smiling for me!