Well, it's turns out that the big lump above the area of surgery is one very larger tumor that just popped up after the surgery. It is a throw-off of the one lymph node that was too dangerous to remove. I noticed this lump and of course mentioned it to everyone but the doctors didn't take notice once again! When they finally got the tests all back, they start scrambling and moving up all my treatments. I have already started radiation and will start chemo next week for the liver and lung. Yes, it has metastasised, so it is categorized as stage 4 breast cancer. I am still in pain in the breast area...my head and heart are reeling from the words inoperable and incurable. I have no energy right now to do anything....upating this blog will be a major accomplishment for me today.
My dear friends have been wonderful! Visitors, flowers, phone calls, home cooked meals, laundry done, and so much love. I hope I get around to thanking each one of you soon but right now, please forgive me for not answering emails or writing. I am in a bit of a shock.
Wish I could end this on a happy note, but that isn't happening so I will share a piece of advice I have learned so far on this journey. No matter how learned your doctors might be, cause we all go to only the best, if they toot their horn and love the sound of their voice more than the sound of yours, turn around and walk out the door. One does not have to sacrifice compassion and understanding for all those certificates on the wall. Search out a doctor that you can relate to, one who will listen and has a person in his office you can get hold of when you need to....not 9 choicesof buttons to push!
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28 comments:
Dear Dottie, We'll miss you tomorrow at tea but understand your exhaustion and need to take care of yourself. I just keep thinking Lance Armstrong proved them wrong, Dottie can too. While your diagnosis sounds/is devistating, maybe they read someone else's x-rays, maybe they weren't talking about OUR Dottie, maybe they are wrong yet again. I am here for you, always, and can do anything except quit my job. You always seem like you are rushed when I call with other callers or visitors, I don't want to bother you, so I wait for you to call me. I don't want to interrupt any sleep if you drift off in the afternoon. I'll try to be a better friend. I am always thinking about you. Love, Norma
You're right, this isn't fun. You need to do what's best for you right now - this is your life, you get to make up the rules! Laugh, cry, shout, scream, get angry, count your blessings, do nothing...there is no right or wrong here. Just know that so many people love you and are keeping you in their thoughts & prayers.
Dottie, I'm sitting here feeling just stunned and helpless with your news. If anyone can beat this, it's you. You are one of the strongest persons I know and I've always heard attitude is half the battle. Cry and scream all you need to...and know that we are here praying for you.
Dottie
Know that you are SO in my prayers.
I don't know what to say right now, sitting here in shock. But if anyone can beat this "our Dottie" can!!!!Kick back girl!
Hugs
Shelley
Damn.....Dottie you indeed have been through a medical obstacle course and as others are saying......if anyone can get through this you can. We are here for you.....in massive numbers - and believe in you Dottie. We love you!
Marianne
Dottie,
Sending soft hugs and tears. I am on my knees praying. HIS healing touch is what I ask in Jesus' name.
With LOVE and Care,
Gigi
Good morning,
I was the first one to write you last night and darn it went off into space I know you can relate to that:)
You remain in my prayers and I am still pretending that I am there with you to hold your hand. You have lots of encouraging words here and I want to add mine. Keep up the good work and a healthy attitude, because that is what will get you thru this. We love you and are taking all the snow for you too.
Hugs and Kisses. Harrison and Bobbie
Dottie - Thanks for including the advice at the end. I think that is so important but I'm sure hard advice to follow when you just want the best treatment quickly. You have strenght and a strong will, both which will be your best weapons in fighting this. Plus lots of friends praying for you. If you need anything - please ask. I am just a short car trip away.
Teri
OH, dear Dottie...I am so, so sorry. *hugs* and lots of prayers.
~Ace
Just want to send you some love. Wish I was there with you my dear far away friend! This news was not what any of us wanted to hear or what we ever expected...but keep in mind that God was not surprised by it. He knows all. I'll be praying for His peace and healing for you.
Loving you lots,
Dawn
Dottie, I'm stunned by your news. I don't know what to say but am sending lots of prayers and hugs.
Love
Gail
Dottie, this is the last thing I expected to hear! I'm praying for you and please know how much you are loved!
Lori
Dottie
I am a friend of paulas! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
kiss kiss
m
Dottie, You are in my prayers as well as you family. I think of you often and send a prayer upward.
Angie M. / MO memrybug@sbcglobal.net
You have all my compassion, thoughts and prayers, Dottie. And your words of wisdom will remain with me, always.
Dottie, I know you're not feeling so hot but girl, you look good. I'm so happy to have had time to just sit around shooting the shit. And I don't care if you like wheelchairs, we're wheeling your ass oughta that house, if only to get you into the car. If we have to drive around Bellaire cause you're too tired to go far, so be it! And movie night. Yay! Sharon will bring the movie and I'll make good popcorn. Can't wait.
Norma
P.S. YOUR doll is dressed in her Christmas best, just waiting to move into her new home.
Dottie, I know you're not feeling so hot but girl, you look good. I'm so happy to have had time to just sit around shooting the shit. And I don't care if you like wheelchairs, we're wheeling your ass oughta that house, if only to get you into the car. If we have to drive around Bellaire cause you're too tired to go far, so be it! And movie night. Yay! Sharon will bring the movie and I'll make good popcorn. Can't wait.
Norma
P.S. YOUR doll is dressed in her Christmas best, just waiting to move into her new home.
Gayla told me about your health problems and I just wanted to tell you that you are in my prayers.
dottie
I am a friend of Paula's and have been keeping up with you via your blog... you are in my thoughts and prayers... so sorry you are having difficulty... know that there are people out there praying for a good outcome for you and your family and your friends... lots of love
Melissa
sending you all the good vibes i can muster. lots and lots and lots.
-s.
Dottie, you are constantly on my mind and in my heart. I will be there for you whatever you need!
Dottie - I'm with Norma, we're busting you outta that recliner, even if it's just to Dunkin' for a mango smoothie! Then we'll have chick flick night in our PJ's and none of us will wear make-up! Now is the time for us to slow down and MAKE the time for eachother, because that's what girlfriends do! Love ya!
There are people out here praying for you that you don't even know. You are so in our thoughts at this time and always.
Read your blog of the 29th and although I am not big on prayers, I will say a special one for you.
I miss seeing your smiling face.
Angela
Read your blog of the 29th and although I am not big on prayers, I will say a special one for you.
I miss seeing your smiling face.
Angela
Dear Dottie - Gail N. e-mailed me the link to your blog, and I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. I've been through the breast cancer thing too, but since a mastectomy in 1997, it's been quiet, thank God. You're absolutely right about leaving a doctor without compassion. When I started crying after hearing I'd need a mastectomy, one surgeon said, "Oh, come now!" I left him and found someone else. I'm so glad that you're surrounded by supportive friends, and will keep you in my prayers. Love, Marjy Edson Lewis
Dottie,
You are bigger than life - anyone who knows you understands this! Thank God you touched mine! Spending time with you today with Norma was the most memorable way to spend my birthday.
You are loved!
Dottie,
Prayers and hugs are being sent from CA! We love you!
Carol
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